Thursday, October 26, 2006

Someone . . . .

The FIRST time I saw HER – I was smitten. She was pretty, exotic, beautiful, so damn well-proportioned & she had “fantastic” written all over her. She had everything in her that I always looked for. EVERYTHING.
I wanted her. Period. Anyhow.

But, I just did not have the courage to go ahead. For weeks, I used to intentionally pass by her daily. I stopped & stared unabashedly at her beauty every time. I soon realized that I wasn’t the only one who had fallen for her. I had competition – fierce competition. Ther were many vying for her attention.

I soon realized I’ll have to move fast. I took it to the next level – no I still didn’t go to her – I spoke to my parents about her. I even showed them her photograph – YES!! I had somehow managed to get her photograph. She looked so stunning in the photograph – yet it was but a mere shadow in comparison to the real her.

I finally took dad to see her. He kinda liked her too. I was relieved. I sensed my wait coming to an end. Dad spoke to her guardian. I had my fingers crossed.

Finally – it was all over. Dad was good at these things.

People sometimes wait for what seems a lifetime for such a time in their lives. My wait had ended.

On the first day of the Hindu New Year, we brought her home.
Our 40 inch Sony LCD Television. Hell Yeah ! !

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Panchavan, Pachpann, Fifty-Five

55 is the name of the game.

OK, here's the deal.There's this blog named "55 Word Fiction".

It is a "collection of 55 word stories" by various (mostly Indian) bloggers.

I came across the blog & took up the (supposed) challenge to write a 55 word story.I managed (somehow) to write one & submitted it to the owner of the blog, mysteriously named GamesMaster.

He accepted my story & you can read it by clicking on this link or by going to & clicking on my Name.

so, click away...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Celebration means . . . .

Celebration means......

A winter evening.
Four friends.
One barsaat.
Four glasses of chai.


Hundred bucks of gas.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.


Rainy evening.
Holding hands with a loved one.
2 steaming corn cobs.
A long road ......


Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
3.25 a.m.


A muddy field.
22 guys.
1 football
Game On ! !


3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.


2 a.m.
Sitting on your window ledge.
Free outgoing on your cell phone.


Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.


You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
Gossiping about all family members.

You can spend hundreds on birthdays, thousands on festivals, lakhs on weddings,but to celebrate all you have to do is spend your Time.

Thought for the day:
"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door."

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Bollywood Classroom - IV. The Finale

You've got the basic ingredients of a formula blockbuster .. These are just the "fillers" - the side characters, supporting characters - the characters on screen when the ones described earlier are not saying their "usual dialogues" (also mentioned in earlier posts)


Undoubtedly, the villain has the most fun. He nearly gets close to rape the heroine & beats the hero, & kidnap his family in the climax. Sometimes he gets the chance to kill them too !!!

Itni achi cheez bhagwaan ke liye chod doon. Kabhi nahin

Ab Saare Hindustan par hamara raaz hoga

Batao faarmoola kahan hay?

Tumhari maa hamare kabze main hai

Kahan jaa rahi ho chhamak chhalon

In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai

Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega

Yahan teri cheekh sunne walah koi nahin

Bula tere bhagwan ko-- dekhta hoon kaun ata hai?

Kis maai ke laal mein itni himmat hai jo mujhse takrayega ?

Gaddari ki ek hi sazaa hoti hai, maut

Uski koi kamzori hogi, koi maa ya behan?


The villain's cronies normally have quite a raw deal. They seldom get the better women to molest, and even when they do, they have to make do with sharing one among at least ten. They are always hammered by the hero and his sidekick, and return to further hammering from their 'boss' the villain. They are normally dark skinned (!) have moles, beards and wear handkerchiefs around their necks.

Boss, Maine tumhara namak khaya hain

Boss! Maal pakda gaya.

Tumhe Boss ne bulaya hain

Ok Boss


Doctors in Hindi films are of two kinds, the first is the family/ neighbourhood/ fairy-tale doctor who arrives in slums on rainy midnights to announce high fever and death,
and the second is the 'expensive-beyond-lawful-means' doctor who delivers babies, cures near-death cases and drives all his billpayers to crime.

Mujh par bharosa rakhiye

I am sorry

Iska to bahot khoon bahey chooka hai. Phoren operation karna padega.

Bhagwan ne chaha to sab thik hoga.

Badhai ho, tum baap bannay waalay ho

Iski haalat bahot najook hai

Tumhe sakt aaram ki jaroorat hai

Jaldi se woh dawayee lao.

Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain

Ab main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta.

Bacche ko to hum ney bacha liya par maa...


Contrary to popular belief, there is in fact a concept of law and order in Hindi films. Upholders of the law in Hindi films are of two kinds, the police and the judiciary, quite as it is
in real life. The police pick up thugs and the judges let them off


Kanoon Ko apney haath mein mat lo

Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai

Kanoon ko saboot chahiye

Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai jaati hai

Mulzim ko Baa izzat bari kiya jata hai


If you are aspiring to strike a career in the Bollywood, be it a director, script writer or even penning dialogues, these posts will be very helpful to you for it contains the scenes and dialogues which every film has and you cannot afford to miss it !!

Some of the here may be rather sexist, chauvinistic, supercilious, vapid, racist, tasteless, offensive and emotionally backward, but I have to be slightly sober for censorship reasons and cannot show Hindi films in their full crowning glory.

So, go ... make your movie, write your script, insure yourself against all the losses.

Thought for the day
Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

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