Monday, April 21, 2008

Couldn't think of a Title

I knew I needed a b_eak f_om office and an u_gent t_ip to Mau_itius with a couple of blonde gi_ls the moment I _ead my p_evious post. It looked like it had been typed by a guy agg_essive enough to make And_ew Symonds look like a messenge_ of peace with a couple of white doves pe_ched on his shoulde_s . Luckily, wo_k in office cooled down, I fell sick n that clashed with some bank holidays, so got a nice b_eak.

Anyway, now you visualize me spending the b_eak watching TV, sp_awled on a couch, with the left hand lazily swooping popco_ns off a big plastic bowl and the _ight hand g_ipping the _emote, and I think you_ visualization captu_es my plans beautifully. But I also intend to make some meaningful acts , which compa_e well with the discove_y of fi_e , Mallika She_awat and othe_ such things in te_ms of thei_ impact on mankind. Fo_ example , I need to watch my weight now . I mean , little kids a_e not exactly pointing finge_s at me and yelling ‘Look mama , that ball has legs !” , but a little bit of physical activity neve_ killed anybody , unless that activity _esulted in pissing off Mike Tyson .

Also, the_e is this _ocking insu_ance policy which I want to get fo_ myself, but im not eligible fo_ it coz im 13 kgs ove_weight fo_ it.

So, I ve been walking up the stai_s of my office (7 floo_s – twice daily) and skipping eating othe_s’ lunch & eating only mine, among othe_ things. I don’t think I ve lost weight yet, but im al_eady feeling lighte_…

Talking about television, what’s w_ong with Aaj Tak people ? I mean , I had a feeling they we_e p_etty low on news the day I saw a 30 minute capsule named “Yeh kaisa _ishta” which was about a female monkey in Madhya P_adesh which was b_inging up half a dozen pups and picking thei_ lice and feeding them he_ own milk ( As if I have eve_ seen a monkey buying polypacks f_om a mothe_ dai_y). But if someone was to watch Aaj Tak ove_ the last 15 days , he would be absolutely confident that the only man who is left on the face of this ea_th is the G_eat Khali , the mahabali Da_inda , ‘Jo apne dushmano ko kuchal deta hai’ , ‘Jiska naam sunte hee uske dushmano ki aatma kaanp jaati hai’ , and , I hea_d this yeste_day , ‘Jo duss babba_ she_o jitna taakatwa_ hai’ . Oh , by the way , if you don’t know who Khali is , he is a WWE w_estle_ of Indian O_igin who is 7’3” , weighs 190 kgs and you should be ve_y happy you don’t owe him any money. I guess Khali would discove_ a lot of info_mation about himself if he sta_ts watching Aaj Tak _egula_ly.

Also , I watched ‘_ace’ at a multiplex _ecently . To cut it sho_t , and to save 175 bucks on the ticket and 85 bucks on the bu_ge_ + coke , it’s a movie whe_e eve_ybody is evil with a head bubbling with deadly plans , eve_ybody is in bed with somebody , and eve_ybody is d_iving an exotic ca_ which costs a_ound fifty times my expected lifetime ea_nings . But the movie left me with a ve_y distu_bing message – “You wanna be a winne_ ? Please kill those mo_als fi_st” . I mean , if I would have watched that movie when I was six , I would have g_own up thinking that being t_uthful is an insult . Not that I am a Ha_ishchand_a-2 , but the people in the flick do not even t_y. Of cou_se , the_e is one anothe_ image f_om the movie which will not leave me till I b_eathe my last – That of a topless Akshaye Khanna standing chest facing towa_ds the came_a. At least th_ee XL sized sweate_s could have been knitted out of the hai_ on his chest, I swea_. Add Anil Kapoo_ to that , and you have the _aw mate_ial fo_ the complete winte_ collection of _ohit ‘Bal’ .

By the way, who didn’t feel like obliging to Kat_ina when she danced do “za_a za_a……” . I so LOVE he_….

P.S. Going through a blog post is so tough without "R". I hope i dont have to go through life . . . without "R".

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