Wednesday, December 26, 2007

...Threshold...

Being the guest writer on Mihir’s blog is a super daunting task. I mean, just looking at his body of work, anyone in his/her right mind would think long…and hard….And so did I…Its been almost a month since Mihir has bestowed this honour upon me…and I…well…
So finally Mihir said “Arre kuch bhi likh yaar”. “Kuch bhi” comes difficult to most mortals. He wouldn’t know, obviously, not belonging to my breed….
So here goes…On the self imposed condition of anonymity (to save more of his honour, than mine) I finally begin with my “kuch bhi”

As this year ebbs itself out and the new one surges upon us, I can’t help but feel pangs of anxiety, anticipation, excitement, fear and many other such abstract nouns. I relent, it is but natural. Maybe most share my feelings. But this year it is a bit different. This year I am experiencing superlative degrees of all the above described abstract nouns and many undescribed ones too…

May be 23 years spells a threshold in a girl’s life. (Anonymity maintained…I could be a girl trapped in a guy’s body)..hahaha…whatever!!!! In today’s day and age…no one would even raise a hair of their eyebrow on that statement. Ya so where was I…Oh yess…at my threshold…
Today, as I grapple with what I want in life, I realize I have to grapple with what life has to offer also. At 23, I don’t see myself at any crossroads. Rather I see many roads stretching out in the same direction. And I realize, crossroads could have been so much better. Its either the right or the left…Here I can see a career road, a marriage road, a further studies road so on and so forth….

Am I ready for some if not all roads??…Ya sure.
Am I looking forward for some if not all roads??....Yes definitely
Am I sure of what I want??...Umm…aa..mm…err…
(“No” can be a frightful answer…so I’ve chosen to make all sorts of sounds in the above answer.)

I searched the word “want” in the Microsoft Word Thesaurus and the search throws up words like “desire”, “wish for”, “fancy”, “would like”, “feel like”, “crave”, ”covet”, “yearn for” and many other relevant ones. All entire in their description of “want” but lacking in what I “want” to say…Hahah..
Coz if one asks me what I desire?..what I fancy?…what I yearn for?…what I would like? I do have some selfish answers to provide. Ya ya…”world peace” is also one of them..

But if you as me what I want from life..what I would absolutely love to do, and if I would take the leap if I got a chance?? I go back to my sounds…

I wish one day I could just shout “Eureka” and run out of the bath tub…ok…no erase that thought...just shout “Eureka” and say “Yea!!! This is what I want to do…this is what I’ve been looking for.”
I wish I could just choose my road and plunge onto it full throttle knowing exactly where I’m headed and knowing exactly where I would reach…

Till then I’m just enjoying my threshold…Looking far ahead at my roads…and just knowing I’ll set out on one sooner…

3 comments:

Unknown said...

keep writing like this - kuch bhi .. coz ur kuch bhi..s are much better than the earlier writer's bahot kuch..s ..

n dont worry abt being late, jus keep posting here ..

n hey, no matter what road u take, keep walking !

Parth Shah said...

ive read almost all the previous ones and i must agree with MSK (sounds like MSD!!!) that this KUCH BHI is as good as, if not better than the BAHOT KUCHs....

just kiddin... MSK, no visiting blogger can match u man...

yeah, bt this one was REALLY gudd and better than those of MSK.... and even at the cost of jeopardizing the anonymity, i mite say that the 1st statement of this paragraph has oodles of bias flowing from it!!!

ciao

Unknown said...

well, i have not been able to read your blogs before this one purely coz of no access to internet. but now that i have access and also noticed that write ups are also pretty interesting (including the guest write ups :)), i will surely visit more often and would be waiting for a chance tobe a guest writer too... but surely not as good as you both are..

Rate this Post