Couldn't think of a Title

I knew I needed a b_eak f_om office and an u_gent t_ip to Mau_itius with a couple of blonde gi_ls the moment I _ead my p_evious post. It looked like it had been typed by a guy agg_essive enough to make And_ew Symonds look like a messenge_ of peace with a couple of white doves pe_ched on his shoulde_s . Luckily, wo_k in office cooled down, I fell sick n that clashed with some bank holidays, so got a nice b_eak.

Anyway, now you visualize me spending the b_eak watching TV, sp_awled on a couch, with the left hand lazily swooping popco_ns off a big plastic bowl and the _ight hand g_ipping the _emote, and I think you_ visualization captu_es my plans beautifully. But I also intend to make some meaningful acts , which compa_e well with the discove_y of fi_e , Mallika She_awat and othe_ such things in te_ms of thei_ impact on mankind. Fo_ example , I need to watch my weight now . I mean , little kids a_e not exactly pointing finge_s at me and yelling ‘Look mama , that ball has legs !” , but a little bit of physical activity neve_ killed anybody , unless that activity _esulted in pissing off Mike Tyson .

Also, the_e is this _ocking insu_ance policy which I want to get fo_ myself, but im not eligible fo_ it coz im 13 kgs ove_weight fo_ it.

So, I ve been walking up the stai_s of my office (7 floo_s – twice daily) and skipping eating othe_s’ lunch & eating only mine, among othe_ things. I don’t think I ve lost weight yet, but im al_eady feeling lighte_…

Talking about television, what’s w_ong with Aaj Tak people ? I mean , I had a feeling they we_e p_etty low on news the day I saw a 30 minute capsule named “Yeh kaisa _ishta” which was about a female monkey in Madhya P_adesh which was b_inging up half a dozen pups and picking thei_ lice and feeding them he_ own milk ( As if I have eve_ seen a monkey buying polypacks f_om a mothe_ dai_y). But if someone was to watch Aaj Tak ove_ the last 15 days , he would be absolutely confident that the only man who is left on the face of this ea_th is the G_eat Khali , the mahabali Da_inda , ‘Jo apne dushmano ko kuchal deta hai’ , ‘Jiska naam sunte hee uske dushmano ki aatma kaanp jaati hai’ , and , I hea_d this yeste_day , ‘Jo duss babba_ she_o jitna taakatwa_ hai’ . Oh , by the way , if you don’t know who Khali is , he is a WWE w_estle_ of Indian O_igin who is 7’3” , weighs 190 kgs and you should be ve_y happy you don’t owe him any money. I guess Khali would discove_ a lot of info_mation about himself if he sta_ts watching Aaj Tak _egula_ly.

Also , I watched ‘_ace’ at a multiplex _ecently . To cut it sho_t , and to save 175 bucks on the ticket and 85 bucks on the bu_ge_ + coke , it’s a movie whe_e eve_ybody is evil with a head bubbling with deadly plans , eve_ybody is in bed with somebody , and eve_ybody is d_iving an exotic ca_ which costs a_ound fifty times my expected lifetime ea_nings . But the movie left me with a ve_y distu_bing message – “You wanna be a winne_ ? Please kill those mo_als fi_st” . I mean , if I would have watched that movie when I was six , I would have g_own up thinking that being t_uthful is an insult . Not that I am a Ha_ishchand_a-2 , but the people in the flick do not even t_y. Of cou_se , the_e is one anothe_ image f_om the movie which will not leave me till I b_eathe my last – That of a topless Akshaye Khanna standing chest facing towa_ds the came_a. At least th_ee XL sized sweate_s could have been knitted out of the hai_ on his chest, I swea_. Add Anil Kapoo_ to that , and you have the _aw mate_ial fo_ the complete winte_ collection of _ohit ‘Bal’ .

By the way, who didn’t feel like obliging to Kat_ina when she danced do “za_a za_a……” . I so LOVE he_….

P.S. Going through a blog post is so tough without "R". I hope i dont have to go through life . . . without "R".

Format : Bullets and Numbering

• I have stopped making plans for outings with friends. It is much better than making plans and then cancelling.

• Have become incredibly assertive at work . Am shooting off mails which rattle up people the way a rattlesnake in your soup would rattle you . Got into a sharp debate with my manager last week .Took apart an office boy who was taking his time checking if my courier had come in. Diving to a deeper level , I am tired of people walking all over me , and I am letting them know I don't like it . And bad news for them , I am liking letting them know .

• I am transforming into a workaholic . The types who have their cars in the office parking lot when all the other ones have left, whose cabin lights are switched on when lights of the the whole bulding are off. Have worked on 10 out of the 20 weekends since November 2007 . Monday is no more a scary day . I send out office mails almost every Sunday . Two weeks ago , sent a mail to boss at 1.50 am . He stamped into my cabin next morning and insisted that I get a girlfriend. Not that I want to be on the cover of Time . But I like working .

• I regret not helping a kid who wanted help with her school farewell speech . I said I will help out , then totally lost track of that . I have cancelled dinner with R atleast 6 times in the last 2 weeks. If they had a record for the number of promises broken , my picture would be in the Guiness Book . Front cover . Full color.
  

• I love my family more than anything and will stab for them . A female at my office called me a mama's boy when she heard me saying "Will leave office in 10 minutes , ma" on phone . I said "Yeah , I am a mama's boy . I love my mom . And I totally understand it if people from your side of the world eat their mothers , but we dont .We love them all our lives." I actually said that . If you ever needed to understand what a stunned woman looks like , you should have been there .

• Why does everybody in the conference room laugh when the big boss cracks an intended joke ? I did not find it funny . A funeral is more funny than his joke was . But the guy on my left slapped the table twice and roared . Another one could not stop giggling for a complete forty seconds . I mean , was it in the terms and agreement when they joined ?

• Some time ago , a friend of mine , who seems to be a male from what I know of him , commented that I am a lovable person . I still have not decided if that is to be classified as a compliment or a gayish attempt at molestation .

• I have started speaking like my boss. "I will only ask WHY ?" and "I don't care a Fuck" being my most used sentences with "I dont want to hear the process. Show me the result" coming a close second. Of course i get to hear them from my Boss atleast 3 times more than i speak them, but.... I dont care a Fuck !
  

• 5 months in the new job. And I am almost into the habit of thinking in bullets . I think you have an idea of that.