Citizen Pain !!

I'm really notorious for my PJs and random funny comments. Most of my jokes don't make sense, they have utterly no significance and naturally, hardly anybody laughs for them. Anyway, another related thing I'm known for is being a pest. I can really irritate the hell out of anybody if I feel like and I thought that it was finally time that I shared my expertise with all the wannabe pests reading this blog. So here's a list of stuff that you could do in order to make a person want to slap the life out of you.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE or only type in lower case dont use any punctuation either

Tell them the endings to suspense movies & novels. Yup, Brad Pitt is just an illusion in Fight Club.

Finish their unsolved crossword puzzles by writing A in all the empty squares.

Borrow pens and then chew on them!

Step on the back of the shoe of the person walking in front of you.

Say, "Do you know what?" and then "Never mind, forget it!" (Actually, many girls I know do this regularly)

Ask people what gender they are.

Holler random numbers while someone's counting.

Call someone and go, "Oh...Er... you?, sorry, I meant to call someone else!". Then, call them again. And twice more.

Send them a link to this page.

------xx-------xx--------xx--------xx-------xx-------xx-------xx----

Everyone has read tons of "lightbulb" jokes over the years - here are some of my favourites

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, thats a hardware problem!

How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because 'Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three,
One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and
one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.


How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

And, to end it - one of my own

How many of the cast of any Ekta Kapoor TV show does it take to change a light bulb?

The kid in the show will be afraid to enter a bathroom because it is dark. He will tell his aunt about the problem and she, in turn, will tell her brother-in-law to check it out. The brother-in-law, after looking, will deduce that the light bulb has, in fact, burnt out and will send the servant-man out to buy a new one.

(commercial break)

The servant will return to the house with the new bulb and be met at the doorway by the mother-in-law, who wil create a ruckus about how ten rupees were spent without her permission. The entire family joins in and a huge quarrel ensues. At the end of it all, most of the womenfolk are in tears.

(commercial break)

The mood is one of reconciliation. The mother-in-law apologises to her daughter-in-law for being so rude and just generally, everyone hugs one another. Then suddenly, all of them wrinkle up their faces and sniff wih disgust. The poor kid had peed in his pants. Remembering the original problem, the kid's father goes into the dark bathroom to change the bulb. Unable to see, he slips and falls....

(to be continued)

------xx------xx------xx------xx------xx-------xx------xx-----xx----

A few Quatable Quotes from my collection:


Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Make your own recovery the first priority of your life.

It’s not that I’m so smart. It’s just that I stay with the problems longer – Albert Einstein

Revenge is the most sincere form of forgiveness

Absence is to love what wind is to fire – it extinguishes the small – it enkindles the great