Watching My Life : Further musings on the "Purpose" of Life

Once upon a time , I was 7 years old. Then one day , I turned 8 years old . My folks hung balloons and ribbons all around the house. Uncles with their hanging bellies and aunties with their hanging jewelleries came down in large numbers.They looked at me , ruffled my hair which irritatated me a lot and said the same old "rishtedaari" special pleasantries.( kitna bada ho gaya hai munnu ! chota sa tha jab last dekha tha ..godi mein susu karta tha).As if they did their respective "susu" at the White House when they were kids.

Anyways , these guys kept giggling , ate a lot of food and forced me to perform a modern day "mujra" wherein I was made to sing n dance to "papa kehte hai bada naam karega..." along with my pesky cousins . Though with my front two teeth missing at that time , I may have looked a shade less charming than Aamir Khan .Anyways , it was a very soul disturbing experience for me and I almost sued the guests for child exploitation.

But when these guys left , they left behind some good stuff too along with the dirty utensils : the birthday gifts. And one of the gifts was this boardgame called LIFE.For those of you who are not aware about it , you got a better option than bathing in the sea of ignorance , go to this link - http://boardgamecentral.com/games/life.html.

So what happened in this game was that you were allotted a coloured piece which travelled along a curvy path on the board .The number of slots he moved ahead depended on the roll of a wheel ,like the ones they have in those kathmandu casinos. You moved along the board doing all the life stuff , becoming a doctor , engineer ,gangster etc etc ; marrying , divorcing , raising kids ,taking bank loans , buying houses , you even got this salary via a toy version of the American currency. I recall trying to sneak a few extra notes from the box while my cousin was rolling the wheel.

Lately I have started viewing my actual life as just a bigger version of this game.I am just a piece like that in the game , who's just rolling along the boardgame of life. The difference being that on which slot I land ain’t exactly decided by a rolling wheel, but largely by my choice and effort. And just like the game , one day god will decide he’s had enough fun with this guy , and would pick me off the board n toss in the box .And all the currency notes , bank loans , the houses I won during the game , would remain back on the board , to be played with by the other guys.

And this makes me view my life in a rather dis-engaged way.I don't exactly go gaga with my so called achievements, which anyways can be counted on the fingers of a man with a missing hand. And neither do I plunge to the depths of despair with my failures and problems , which can be counted on more than the fingers of your hands , toes and the rest of your body. Its like nothing in this world seems to affect me too much.Its like I don’t know what I want to achieve , what I want to possess.

I feel like a toddler who has been left to play on the floor of Bombay Stock Exchange of yore.I see people yelling , excited , angry , racing to get somewhere and wonder whats it all about . Sometimes I feel I want to earn a lot of money and spend my life with Angelina Jolie on my left arm and Salma Hayek on the right , and swap their places after every 30 minutes.Then I feel i want to spend my life in my room with the AC on , munching on tomato flavored wafers and watching HBO, AXN and Star Movies,and that too on a 42 inch LCD TV. A little later , I see my life's purpose in setting up some NGO and serving the needy. What do i want out of life ? Is there any purpose at all of this entire life thing or are we just trying to have a good time ? Have all you guys figured out what you want in life ?

Tell me..

Some guy said, "you can't be lost if you don't know where you are going". Now it makes sense.