Where's my PURPOSE, Dude ?

Time : 8:24 am
Day : Sunday
Place : Home
A more precise place : On my bed .
State of mind : Just got up . Any use of words with violent , sexual or abusive connotations is due to great hunger resulting from no dinner, a lack of breakfast and a shoulder pain resulting from the awkward position I slept in .

First of all , I am not sad . I have a decent career taking off – just finished my CA Final exams & hoping to pass (cross my fingers), a family I love , friends I love, and the barking dogs in my housing society that I am beginning to love So it would take a fully loaded nuclear attack and a couple of Himesh Reshammiya's CDs to make me feel sad .
On a related note , I just saw the video of Adnan Sami’s latest song on MTV . The guy is crying lakes in the video . I had this urge to actually reach into the screen , wipe his face with a tissue and say "Na munna na , sab theek ho jayega ."

But even though I am not sad , I have a little thought nibbling on me this morning . The more I live , the more I realise two things . First , I still don't have a 'purpose' in my life . And second , now that I have lived some more , I have lesser time to find that purpose .It is like 5 years back I was "Chill yaar . I am only 18 . Only God Buddha found a purpose in life at that age." But Now I am like "Umm . I am almost 23 . And I think I will find a bigger meaning in life right after a little nap. "

Sure , I have phases of 'being driven' in my life . Like I wake up and say 'Right . Today I will call the Hutch Customer care people and tell them they should be looting banks in masks and not calling themselves a telecom service provider for all the scary things they are doing to my connection'. So, little purposes about getting my cell connection up , analysing the high revenue increase of the company I am auditing, ironing my shirt for the next day and such micro sized things dot my day. But there is nothing which connects all these dots and makes me say, " Oh right . Now all the things that seemed stupid and mundane to me make sense". I don't have a purpose which unites all the things I do and drives me and makes me say "Oh yeah , so this is what it was all about".

In fact , that's the problem bugging me right now . I don't know what's it all about .

I keep thinking for how long will this continue ? Will I ever be able to figure out what I want to do ? Am I supposed to figure it out ? How ?
Does everyone realise their “purpose” & go about achieving it, or do they just live their lives & whatever they do is their “purpose” ? It’s all so confusing. Am I alone in this mess ?

Maybe there isn't supposed to be a purpose , a bigger meaning in life . Just live , have fun , eat good chinese/italian/indian/any food , watch movies , and of course , there are my barking dogs.

Starting a Sunday with such things which would beat a well with their depth is not a great idea . I can almost imagine Lord Buddha sitting up there on a cloud and shaking his head and telling me "Take it easy kid . It's Sunday after all . You know what that means for a working chap ? So gulp some sandwiches and a hot coffee and flip on FTV and everything will make sense ." Amen.