Anticlimaxes & Balls

Bad Manners

The strange green light bathed the small boat in its luminescence. The boy and the girl in the boat oblivious to its presence were locked in a liplock was not meant to be opened by any key made by hands of men. Their hands roamed over each other and their bodies hot and feverish rocked the boat to and fro in the calm water of the river. All calm, except the green light that was now increasing in its intensity. It enveloped the boat like a light fog and slowly started pouring itself into the boat.

A tentacled figure rose out of the fog, and hovered silently over the boat. It observed the entangled couple with the interest a child shows in a new game.
The girl opened her eyes mid-kiss, noticed the floating tentacles and leapt off the boy with a startled yelp. The boy looked around confused at the green mist that was now covering half their boat and tried to calm the girl, but his own rising panic was enough to send the girl into a crying fit of hysteria.

"YOU!" thundered the green tentacled figure and pointed at the girl. The girl stopped crying at once, her tears choked back by the fear of the unknown.

"It's bad manners," the floating form said, "to open your eyes when kissing."

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Really Bad Manners

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The Urge

There were times in his life when he could not control it. The urge bubbled inside him like something alive and potent, kicking and screaming to be let out. He stared at the girl sitting across the table. His first date in many years and he was feeling that old old desire again.

What will she think of me if I do it?

Will she leave, or will she strike me in disgust?

Words rumbled and jumbled in his head, he had to find a way soon or there was going to be trouble. He looked behind him at saw a waiter in the pathway, if only he could reach his leg to the side and trip him and spill those drinks…he found out in a second that he could.

The waiter missed seeing the leg and was soon making acquaintance with the cold floor in a puddle of the drinks he was carrying. Some of it, as intended spilled on the skirt and top of the girl.

"Excuse me dear, I have to use the rest room." she said and left.

He smiled contentedly, gave in to his urge and started to suck his thumb.

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BALLS

"Balls! Balls! Balls!" the Ballseller hollered at the top of his voice. "Battered in love and fucked up in life? Need some guts, to talk to the wife? Come one, come all, come and get some balls."

The market was held every full moon under the big bridge. This was one night when the few shopped for things weird and amazing, for things unseen and unheard of. The price was paid in Stories. Stories were a funny currency, for every shopkeeper in the market wanted a story from anyone who wanted to buy something.

A boy walked up to the Ballseller. "I'd like to buy a pair . . I want the biggest balls you have" he said.

His feverish and tiny body made it look like he needed a warm meal more than a pair of balls. "Ha, ok" said the shopkeeper and rummaged into his pack for the biggest pair of balls he could find. The boy stepped into the shop and took the balls in both hands. The shopkeeper looked at him expectantly, waiting for his Story.

"Once," the boy began, "a boy with the biggest pair of balls won the hand of a Ballseller's daughter, only because he had the biggest pair of balls."

The Ballseller guffawed like a horse and said, "You got some balls, kid."

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Balls, we all need a pair.