Monday, July 04, 2011

Types of people you see inside elevators

We all spend at least five minutes everyday traveling the lifts. If you are a lift operator you probably spend more than eight hours inside the lifts….but since we didn’t expect you to understand English and be reading blogs on the internet, this blog post doesn’t cater to your interest. Folks working on 30 plus floors, and those with extremely slow elevators needn’t despair…you might be spending more than five minutes inside lifts but we forgive you and still cater to your interests. Read on.
Here are the different types of people you will find inside lifts:

The Operator
This is generally a man, and the moment he steps inside the lift he has only one question for everybody inside the lift: “Which floor?” He is the type that gets upset if you have already pressed the button. Throughout the journey, he will stand next to the buttons. If you give him a chair to sit inside the lift he wouldn’t really mind. He is also the guy who presses the >< and <> buttons to close or open the lift whenever necessary, and gets super offended if you so much so even extend your hand to do that.

The Evaluator
Both a man or a woman can be an evaluator. This person runs an eye over everybody in the lift. Once the first glance is cast, he or she then starts focusing on individuals and starts marking them eye to toe. There are various parameters on which such people evaluate you – which company you could be working in, single or married, how much you could earning, how much does that shiny shoe cost etc. He/she usually stands right at the back in one of the corners.

The Starer
This is mostly a man. His job is to stare at anybody who enters the lift. A stare back doesn’t discourage this guy. The fact that the stare is going to last only 30+ seconds helps. Mind you, he doesn’t just stare at women….men also end up being his target.

The Perfume Woman
In most office lifts this character is a rarity. How often do you share a lift with a girl, who is washed head-to-toe in perfume? This person is usually wearing heels, dark, tight trousers with light colored shirt, has a scarf around her neck and is holding a file or a diary against her bosom (not to mention the branded, big handbag or laptop hanging from her shoulder). She steps into the lift with a few clicks of her heels, and sets the adrenalin rush amongst the men inside. If you see a man missing the second floor in spite of pressing the second floor button of the lift…there are very high chances that there is a perfume woman inside the lift.

The back-to-the-door person
This can either be a man or a woman and is most likely to be 40+ in age. For some odd reason, they stand with their back to the door till they reach their destination floor – opening or closing of the lift doesn’t help in changing their orientation. This man is the Evaluator’s worst enemy.

The Evader
This is an interesting character that becomes a part of our lift life very often. They avoid all eye contact when inside the lift. If you notice, they will take out their handkerchief and play with it, then stare at the fan or AC vent on top, then look at the buttons, stare at the floor indicator at the top of the lift etc. They will do anything to avoid eye contact with you – even looking at their own shoes.

The Mobile Manager
This can both be a man or a woman. For some odd reason, they always get emails when they are in the lift. And when they don’t have emails to read, they would snap out the mobiles from their pockets and send out a few SMSes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are just some sms forwards. Most often, the mobile that’s involved here is a smartphone – a Blackberry, an iPhone, an HTC or a high end Nokia device.

The Handler
This is almost always a man. He takes it upon himself to trigger the lift door’s sensitivity by placing his hand next to the door till everybody isn’t inside completely or hasn’t gone out completely. He is the fatherly figure to every lift traveler. There is no specific age group for this character – they range from 16 year old boys to 50 year old men.

Any other characters you can think of?


Nupur said...

i like the name you have given to the each character !

DJ said...

I specifically like the gender identification of each character... Btw, am trying to see which character I fit in... :P


Rajiv said...

Sherlock Homes aka Mihir!

Mrugank Kamdar said...

Hilarious! You definitely fit in the evaluator category :-)

Anonymous said...

super fun read!! Oh there's also the "this-conversation-just-can't-stop" type. Usually 2 or 3 people that walk into the elevator with a conversation that started outside and they keep going at it,oblivious to the people in the elevator. They probably pause for a micro second to call out the floor they're going to. It helps cut through some of that awkward elevator silence coz everybody's listening in to the conversation.

Manjot said...

This was a good read :)
And I'm the mobile manager.

sunshinesmile said...

Haha! :) I am the evaluator - the only way to pass time in an elevator I think...

raj said...

Ha ha... never thought of this but yes these categories will fit almost everyone... I am a Evader cum Mobile Manager....

Sethuram said...

Gud one. Attention headed to the minute details looks astounding.

Gayatri said...

Awesome list M. Each character is so well-defined and you instantly know who is what. The other character I would add is the teenager (music blasting so loud on the iPod that we can all hear it) and the couple (a character in itself, constantly holding hands, oblivious to anyone else there).

Good to see you write again :)

Anonymous said...

dis is interestin... good observation..!!!!

kejal said...

this is really interesting...:) i think m d evader types..!

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