Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Friends with ’Expiry dates’?

Do friends come with expiry dates? That’s one question that came to my mind this morning as I got dressed for work. I have been experiencing pain this last weekend over a soured friendship which did not just snap but has been going ‘bad’ for a while. Which made me think...do friendships come to expiration just like any other product we purchase in the market? Some part of me completely agreed with the concept. Yes, they do!
Think about it! We choose our friends just as much as we choose the products in the store. Like a new product we anticipate that the new friend will make you better...add value to what you already have - who you are (like lotions and creams enhancing our natural beauty), contribute to your happiness (like coffee that just perks me up), or just plain ol’makes you feel better like nothing else does (like ice-cream!!). Having friends around or just a call away makes one feel secure about relationships. That happiness permeates into different other aspects – career, relationships with family and with our own spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Friends make us plain happy after meeting or talking to them!
We choose these products depending on our mood when purchasing them. Sometimes we ‘experiment’ with these products because we believe they will make things better – our health, our beauty, our overall personality...Similarly with new people depending on our mood we decide to let that person get close to us, enough to become friends who momentarily convince us that they are worth being acquainted with. We experiment with them. It’s the mood that does play a role. That’s why we let some really nice people to pass us by and sometimes let losers get close to us because we were in ‘the mood’!!
And just like products come with expiry dates; friendships near to an end as well because they turn bad and ‘toxic’ at times. Some friends need to be let gone else they continue to suck you out of the energy they once upon a time contributed to. The one thing that you give to any product and to a friend is the chance to make you feel better. If you are a friend to them, you would do the same. But once the product starts to make you react in a way adverse to what was expected, you tend to discontinue using the commodity at once or at least gradually start reducing the usage of the product to see if it the main reason for undesirable results. Is that not a good strategy while dealing with ‘friends’? Why let some friends who have become sour make you feel bad?
Subconsciously, friends contribute to your self esteem and spending time with certain people defines your attitude to a particular extent. When you spend it with certain ‘toxic’ friends, they turn to harm us more than just superficially, which products gone bad do. They harm us internally and they bring pain. Letting them out of your life is not as easy as throwing a product away but easing them out of your life is like doing yourself a huge favour. You deserve and are worth a healthy relationship and friendships are part of those healthy associations you want t keep to contribute to a healthy, happy living!
Since I realised what had happened to a fantastic friendship I had with my best friend, I have started revaluating friendships that I still have. I do love myself and could use healthy relationships that nurture my personality and make me happy like an apple nurtures my health.
Slowly letting go of the people that show telling signs of embittering your life can be tough but oh-so-necessary for yourself. Think about it, why would you keep a product that does more harm than good? Similarly, why would you allow a ‘friend’ to eat into your time and energy when there are enough parasites out there anyways (go by the name – horrible bosses, foes, naggers etc)? Think about it, re-evaluate your relationships and see if they have reached their expiry dates!


Anonymous said...

CERTAINLY NOT!!! Friends are forever... n i mean it..btw havent u heard "har ek friend zaroori hota hai!!"

Mitalee said...

Who says you choose your friends?! You become friends with your high school classmate, your next door neighbor, that girl you met in the park, that guy you played cricket with..

People never choose their friends.. life chooses them for you. :)

YouKnowMe said...

We are prisoners of our own device.

Just_Write said...

Hmmm..thought provoking !!!
But feel its not about expiry dates. It just that situations take you apart.Less meetings, few conversations leading to almost nil interaction.Pure circumstantial!!
So maybe sometime later, conversations might just begin again!
And every friend is made of some unique specific details and always leaves us richer ((whatever be the use date)

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