Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's tough to say Goodbye


The Gang

Time: 11:30 p.m.
Place: Outside Yoko’s – our FIRST hangout place !

“Where is he ?”, I asked Kauhik (Koseek) & Varun (Va) as soon as I reached.
“He’ll directly meet us at Gokul”. We left immediately for Gokul.

Time: 11:40
Place: Gokul

Rahul (Ra) usually takes our order n gets us all our ice creams. Today was going to be no different ! As usual, we order 5 ice creams among the 4 of us (1 for each & 1 special flavor common for all !). And the conversation started . . .

Me: “my ice cream is ridiculous”.
I had a habit of tasting new flavours every time & “coffee-walnut: certainly didn’t meet my approval.

Va: “I told you. Why do you mix random things like coffee n walnut”.
I had seen him shake his head in disbelief when he first heard me mulling over coffee walnut !!

Suddenly, I dropped a piece of my ice cream while eating & scooped it up and put it on a tissue paper.
Koseek:“What are you doing dude ?”

Me: “Arre, it had fallen down – im just putting it away”

Koseek: “Oh, I thought you were saving some for the crows, like so many people do. Hahah !”

Me: “Hey, is this a belief in Sindhis predominantly ? I had a sindhi female in my previous office who also daily kept aside some of her lunch, went to the terrace n offered it to the crows !”

Koseek: “Not specifically sindhis. When someone in the family dies, it is believed that he/she turns into a crow and that is how it starts. Someone must’ve dies in her family.”

Me: “Yeah, dying waala funda I know. My mom also believes that. I don’t”

Va: “Arre, I also believe that yaar. My dada had expired. Since then we started offering bread butter to a particular SAME crow that visited our window every morning. And im very sure it was the same crow And he NEVER accepted bread without butter ! He used to thow it back in from the window ! My dad also ALWAYS wanted ghee or butter on his bread. And the clincher, once I was alone at home n smoking at the window – we were in school – and the cow was perched on a branch opposite my window & ANGRILY drilling his beak into the tree as if he is upset & angered. I completely believe that that crow was dadaji !”

Ra: But these crows r solid haraami yaar. How much noise they make & if one of them dies . . oh god. Ten thousand crows come together n jeena haraam kar dete hai kau kau kar ke. Koi kuch nahi kar sakta !!

Everyone was in splits in the way rahul expressed himself with gestures and tone of voice. He was known for cracking funny comments in an extremely exaggerated way. Ten thousand crows !!

Me: Yeah, I go to the terrace everyday after my dada’s death n feed gaathiya to the crows. And if by chance, one day im sleeping late, one of the crows comes to my window n wakes me up by crowinf incessantly ! I was surprised in the beginning. I tried sending my mom up to the terrace for a week & once when she was late, the crows sat outside her window n woke her up ! Thy had figured out that it is a different person and also that she sleeps in a different room ! They are super intelligent, boss.

And, by then, the ice creams were over.

Can you believe that this was the last proper conversation we would be having while sitting together & hanging out. We were just the same as always - no emotions, no relevant talks. Completely irrelevant, random topics to talk about - even if it was the last time we were probably talking face to face !

“Ek photo banta hai yaar”, someone said. We placed the camera on the opposite table and were trying to find a good angle for a automatic shot, when some one came in and offered to click our snap. Our last snap together for a long long time.


The last ice cream ! (We shoud've gone for supper..hahaha)

Yes, Rahul was going away the next morning to London for his Masters. He would return after a year for a while & then go back there for work. He said he’ll return soon and wants to settle here, but who know what happens 2 years down the line. As of now, he was going.

Yuvaraj had left 3 years back & come back yearly only for a few days after that. Now it was Rahul. And we had grown so close in the last 3 years. Spent so much time together.

Weekly movies at gaiety-galaxy (until they decided to increase the ticket costs !), Saturday night meetings at Carter road, many a times with nothing to discuss, Goa trip – Palolem, 9 bar – all that Rahul had told us !!!. Then, the MP trip, where we spotted a tiger n I ll never forget Rahul’s comment in the jungles there – “Sambar is a waste of a species !” I sill laugh when I think of that !!

Rahul’s jokes, his unnecessary comments, his way of exaggerating everything, his behavoiur once he’s 2 bottles of beer down, his mischievous smile – white teeth showing prominently in his dark face – and you know he’s upto something when he smiles - we’ll miss that all. Always.

We dropped him home, bid him a goodbye and he said, “see you guys at the airport tomorrow”. We said that we had decided not to come, that it ll be time for him to be with family. But he insisted, got a bit emotional & we could not refuse. In our hearts, we knew that we had to be there at the airport the next day.

We did go the next day, again wished him luck & saw him enter the airport and then we turned our backs and left. Goodbyes at the airport are always difficult for me. I ve cried everytime I ve gone there to drop a friend off. I had cried when Rajat had gone, I had cried when shweta had gone. I had cried when yuvaraj had gone. And I dint even have the guts to go for my 2 most difficult goodbyes (I wont name them here). I did those a few days earlier than the flight.

This time too, I fought back tears n crumpled my nose when varun looked at me.
“Airport goodbyes are tough dude”, I said.

Yes, in today's day & age - the world has "flattened", as Mr. Friedman puts it. The channels of communication have improved and increased - phone costs are cheaper, free chat through google, yahoo, skype, use of webcam etc etc. Yes, but it definitely doesnt make up for physical absence. and we'll realise that shortly - in our saturday night meetings !

Yuvaraj was gone. Rahul was now gone. And then, there were 3.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Pain

(Disclaimer: This post is NOT by K)

Have you experienced pain? I know I have, and it doesn’t feel good. Not one bit. It hurts, really bad, especially when the heart is involved. And no, it’s not just when lovers are involved. It pains when the people you love are involved. The ones you may not love but have grown to care are involved. It pretty much kills you at times.

It breaks one’s heart when no matter what, no one cares to understand. When the mess in ones life piles on and refuses to lessen, no matter what you do. Family, friends, career, the world. A hell lot of things capable of getting messed up…royally. You can’t do anything but watch (helplessly) as things get murkier- no matter how much you try to avoid it from happening.

Had an argument with the people I care (a lot) about, today. It pained me that they knew nothing about how I felt, how much I cared. Contrary to what they assumed. I have grown to love them and have tried to accept them for who they are. Then why am I not treated the same way? No matter what I do, whichever side I take, what I choose to do- I seem to create a bigger mess. And it hurts not only for me but also for those people who are hurting because of the wrong notions they hold about me.

It doesn’t end there. Oh no, it certainly doesn’t. Thereafter a range of sacrifices are made (sometimes) to lessen their pain while your own increases a notch higher. Now that the sacrifice has been made, one prays and obviously expects things to return to normal. But, nah, that doesn’t happen always, does it???!!!! If you’re lucky the ‘sacrifice’ pays off – the desired effects are experienced. But at whose expense?

How many such ‘sacrifices’ do you plan to make, to let the other person feel better about the way things are?? How many times will you experience pain to accommodate the others’ feelings which are apparently all wrong towards your own? No matter what you do, it will be ‘wrong’ in their eyes. Slowly all that ‘accommodating’ can result in you transforming into someone you’d rather not be. You start hating the person you’ve become; the state you are in. The pain never went away. It just got transferred into your account (Congratulations???!!!- One kind of credit you’d rather do without). It pretty much still exists. Only this time in a different body, inside a different soul. What purpose did all that ‘sacrifice’ serve? The end effect still remains the same. Only this time one person takes the entire brunt and hurts all over because of it. And the other people (the ‘sacrificees’- if only there is a word like that) get used to you sacrificing all the time. And then one wonders why go through all that pain in the first place? What did it do for you? Pain just laughs in your face letting you know what a fool you have been.

Stop accommodating (always) for others. Not unless the pain truly reduces in the process. Else learn to live in the pain that accumulates within you. Learn to ‘accommodate’ FOR this pain you have created for yourself.

I don’t know what needs to be done. Truly, I should not (always) accommodate for others, no matter how dear they may be to me. But what’s the solution to this problem? How does one mend the wrong identity (of you) that certain other person is holding in his mind? How does one live and still be comfortable in his own skin and accept oneself before anyone else does? What if ‘corrective’ communication does not help? What if things look worse and the only ‘right’ thing to do is to ‘accommodate’, do things that lessen the mess in the others life, the ones you really care about –ones who are worthy of that sacrifice??

It’s a tricky one- any takers????


Posted by Cosmo'G'al
---------------------------xx---------------------xx--------------------------xx--------------

Now, it's K

12:05 A.M. - im just out of office. Took a cab home. 3 mins into the cab, seeing the wide, long, empty roads (yeah, im talking about Mumbai only .. n no i was not imagining), i wad tempted to drive.

"bhaiya, hame drive karne doge ?"
"saab, license hai ?"
"haan"

And so, i took control ... fiat is togh to drive, it doesnt have floor gears .. but since i the first car i drove was a fiat, i hadnt forgotten everything .. anyways, i drove home & it took jus 20 mins.. tht too coz the fiat wudnt go beyond 80 ...
it was amazing fun ....

-------------xx----------------------xx--------------------------xx-----------------------xx-
Kaushik, Rahul, Varun - u guys r the greates friends !!!!!!!!!

i wished Rahul - "Happy Friendship Day"

he said, " hahahaha ... same to u dude ...as if we need it .... btw, u forgot my bday - 2 days back" ..

"shit ... but, thts usual now .. i dont even remember when i ve wished u last !!"

and, i havent wished any of them their bdays in a long lonog time, altho they unfailingly wish me every year ...

Varun says, "yeh birthdays to aati rahengi yaar ... ab bhool gaye to samjhe ..."

Thanks for everything guys ... and more than anything .. thanks for being yourselves .... i dont know what i wud ve done without you !!!
Rock on !!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

In response to “tera mujhse hai pehle se nata koi”

I’ll begin with the fact that my brother doesn’t approve of me responding publicly to this post (I’m sorry ) but its something I’d impulsively told K I would do and so here it is (Yes I know I’m late but atleast I’m writing it now…)

First of all, it was shocking to a) See details of my personal life put up b) Read that K draws comparisons with women buying salwar kameez-when did you get the golden opportunity to witness that???

Well the friendship K and I share is unique. People have neighbourhood friends, school friends, college friends, work friends/colleagues, net/chat pals; in Mumbai there is even the concept of train friends . But we don’t fit into any logical category. There was a time when our friendship was on a “break” and we hadn’t interacted for about a year-but we were able to pick up where we’d left off. We’re as different as chalk and cheese-our only common ground being our obsession with the entertainment industry. In spite of all of that, we’ve managed to be friends, seen each other transform from teenagers to adults to professionals. This is the reason why it is special.

But please note-K EXAGGERATES and he used to HATE me at one point of time (yup, these are his words verbatim). Our life is too boring to make even a 21 minute episode. We rarely celebrate our respective birthdays together. Miss India finalist-what was that about-since when did either of us start emphasizing on external appearances? Also, I don’t LOVE pizza, what made you think I want pizza everytime I’m back (which may be sooner than you expect).
Lastly, in any friendship, personal (family, spouse, kids) or professional life will always take over. But if it’s a priority, it’ll last and I hope that K and me continue to be great friends. Yup, I’m missing you too…

@Sonicat-yes I’m gonna be around and I’m quite taken aback by your comment.

P.S.: Do you remember the Troy episode and how such inconsequential things governed our life at that time…

Posted by Sentimental Fool

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