Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I'm NOT as sad as this post makes me out to be

There are days when sorrow is like a physical ache. Under your skin, it is a soiled washcloth the surgeon left inside before sewing you up. In your bloodstream, it’s a murky grey fluid, an effluent without an outlet. Inside your ribcage, it is the deadweight of despair. Even neon seems dim, any music grates. People are talking to you, but all you want is for them to go. Their concerns are trite, banal, pointless compared to the grief that you cannot share with anyone. There are such griefs, and they are the most terrible.

At this precise point of time, happiness seems a myth, a chimera, a bedtime story for children, a poor urban legend. When were you happy last ? Yes, you can remember those times, those moments, but you can’t believe it was you. It was another person, yes. It was another world. Here, now, this moment – you can never again be happy.

You make a list. Late night drives, walking hand in hand in the winter sun, getting wet in the rain, cuddling up with someone you love under the quilt.

But the memories of happiness can hurt too. Can you ever go back to those moments and experience them again, now ?
Will the sky ever be so azure as it was on that winter day ? Will you ever dance again in the rain, or just use it to hide your tears ? The quilt may be the same, but you could be alone…

In the end, love isn’t about the right answer. It isn’t about the right way of doing things. It isn’t about whose perspective is the best. It isn’t about which wavelength is more focused or whose opinion holds more weight and then forcing it on the other.
Love isn’t about settling scores.

Love is about wanting to make an effort.
It’s about wanting to make things work.
It’s about wanting to hang on when the going gets tough.
It’s about finding common ground.
It’s about putting egos aside.
It’s about sacrifice.
It’s about not wanting to ‘prove a point’.
It’s about both partners trying to see the other one’s point of view as their own.
It’s about accepting the other for their outlook.
It's about wanting to be with each other.
It's about being together, no matter what.
It's about remembering that you LOVE each other on days when you dont like each other
Love is about compromise.

Sure both partners’ wavelengths may not match and you may wonder if all the effort is worth it? Does it really matter? He/she is never gonna change, why should I? Maybe we’re just not made for each other? She’s just not my kinda girl? He’s never gonna see my side of the story? Couples that split up have most probably done so mainly coz they didn’t take the first step to “tune in” to the other’s frequency. Or if they did, they gave up too soon. Or maybe, they never did tune it, at all

But, I’ve learnt one thing…without compromise, no one is custom made for anyone. The term ‘made for each other’ is what Hallmark sells on.
No matter what the shrink might tell you, if you think you’re gonna find someone who truly understands you and shares the same wavelength as you without putting in any effort at all, well, you’re better off counting stars.

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all . . .

3 comments:

Nupur said...

hey k....i agree n understand each n every word you have written..truly amazing...

sst said...

Hey i completely agree with nupur.Its amazing how u express yourself in your writing.Each word means so much.Touches and wrenches your heart.

Shirl said...

I dont kno who u r.. but cudnt help leaving a comment.. I dont have words to praise the quality of writing.. Its simply beautiful and it touched my heart !

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