Hello readers. We continue with our Bollywood Classroom.
Those who have started reading now are advised to read the post below.
Ok, then. Hop on the Fun Ride.
THE HERO
The Hero is the person who gets the woman in the end and kills everyone with moles on their faces. The hero shaves, drinks, drives, gesticulates and picks several fights. He normally has a mother who seldom has a lover. He may have a moustache, but never has a beard, unless he is in disguise or utter poverty. He delivers his lines with minimum style, and except for those lines in which he grimaces, he is totally stone-faced. If the hero has a comic side to him, he says very little of consequence in the entire film and does not die in the end.
Common dialogues mouthed by HEROES include :
Tere saamne teri maut khadi hai
Kuttay !!
Tumhare liye meri jaan bhi haazir hai
Mere paas meri mari maa ka ashirwad hai.
Apne Aaadmiyon se kaho ki bandookein phhek de
Dunyaki koi takat hame juda nahi kar sakti
Mere hotey huay tumhara koi baal bhi baaka nahin kar sakta
Yeh meri maa keh Kangan hai
Maa, mujhe Ashirwad de
Khabardaar joe Usse haat bhee lagaya
Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to ...
Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu....
Mere paas maa hai !
Nahin . . tu mera bhai nahi ho sakta. Tune maa ka dil dukhaaya hai . .
THE HEROINE
The heroine is the stupidest of all Hindi film characters. She normally settles for a man with no class, and even lesser money. She is usually a lot younger and seriously better looking than the hero, even when the hero is the kind whose insipid persona leaves nothing but the looks to matter. Her father is either ridiculously rich or pathetically poor. Any heroine who starts the film in short skirts ends it in sarees. One who doesn't is the vamp.
Those who have started reading now are advised to read the post below.
Ok, then. Hop on the Fun Ride.
THE HERO
The Hero is the person who gets the woman in the end and kills everyone with moles on their faces. The hero shaves, drinks, drives, gesticulates and picks several fights. He normally has a mother who seldom has a lover. He may have a moustache, but never has a beard, unless he is in disguise or utter poverty. He delivers his lines with minimum style, and except for those lines in which he grimaces, he is totally stone-faced. If the hero has a comic side to him, he says very little of consequence in the entire film and does not die in the end.
Common dialogues mouthed by HEROES include :
Tere saamne teri maut khadi hai
Kuttay !!
Tumhare liye meri jaan bhi haazir hai
Mere paas meri mari maa ka ashirwad hai.
Apne Aaadmiyon se kaho ki bandookein phhek de
Dunyaki koi takat hame juda nahi kar sakti
Mere hotey huay tumhara koi baal bhi baaka nahin kar sakta
Yeh meri maa keh Kangan hai
Maa, mujhe Ashirwad de
Khabardaar joe Usse haat bhee lagaya
Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to ...
Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu....
Mere paas maa hai !
Nahin . . tu mera bhai nahi ho sakta. Tune maa ka dil dukhaaya hai . .
THE HEROINE
The heroine is the stupidest of all Hindi film characters. She normally settles for a man with no class, and even lesser money. She is usually a lot younger and seriously better looking than the hero, even when the hero is the kind whose insipid persona leaves nothing but the looks to matter. Her father is either ridiculously rich or pathetically poor. Any heroine who starts the film in short skirts ends it in sarees. One who doesn't is the vamp.Common dialogues include :
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chod do
Hato. Tum bade woh ho
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti
Paapa, main sirf usi se shaadi karrongi jise main pasand karti hoon
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai
Main usse pyar karti hoon
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho
Koi Dekh Lega
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!
psshhh psshh gusshhh (whispering in the HERO's ears - stands for "im pregnant")
Oh... how i loved these movies ... Fanatstic dialogues.
End of this session.
More to follow in the coming sessions.
Thought for the day
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chod do
Hato. Tum bade woh ho
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti
Paapa, main sirf usi se shaadi karrongi jise main pasand karti hoon
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai
Main usse pyar karti hoon
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho
Koi Dekh Lega
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!
psshhh psshh gusshhh (whispering in the HERO's ears - stands for "im pregnant")
Oh... how i loved these movies ... Fanatstic dialogues.
End of this session.
More to follow in the coming sessions.
Thought for the day
We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed.
2 comments:
All movies have a lead actor/actress and supporting actors/actresses and the rest of the ensemble cast. Now, in Indian cinema (particularly Bollywood) the lead actor is called a "Hero" as he has multiple talents/skills, from extreme physical strength (jumping off buildings, beating up all the bad guys single handed etc.) to great business skills (after all he romances his love interest at the most exotic locales, where does the money come from?) and lastly he is always correct, very righteous. Now that we have a hero, his love interest is called the herione (even if she has little to do beyond lip sync 2-3 songs). The basic formula of the movies is "good overcoming evil" in the process of meeting one's soulmate. This has become too monotonous and no new stories are being told per se. For eg, if one has to convey the topic of a Bollywood movie in 1 sentence, it'll invariably be the same. The audience is fed up. I believe its high time they stop selling rehashed fantasies.
I loved the thought for the day...heheh
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