Bollywood Classroom - III

Wanna make your own movie ?
Follow my class & you'll be adept at adopting the bollywood "faarmoola". Here's another session

HERO'S SISTER

The hero's sister invariably has her modesty outraged. She seldom lasts beyond a few scenes and in rarest cases lives to see the end of the film. If there is ever a poignant scene highlighting the brother-sister relationship, it is a clear indicator of the sister's soon to follow death.

Most said dialogues by sisters
Mein tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne wali hoon (mostly to the villain, or the villain's son, brother)

Mere bhaiya ko lambi umar dena, bhagwan

Mere bhai pe koi aanch na aye

Khabardar jo mujhe chhua bhi, main apni jaan dey doongi (death occurs most deifinitely 5 minutes after this scene. Mostly a suicide after attempted/successful rape by villain or his cronies)

Bhaiyya, tum mere liye ek pyaari si bhabhi kab laaonge

Main kissi ko muh dikhane layak nahi rahi

Bhagwaan ke liye, meri suhaag mat ujaado

Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do






HERO / HEROINE's FATHER

The father is normally a symbol of outright pathos, either cringing to the worldly demands of having unmarried daughters or the burden of having a violent son with little ambition beyond rotating around trees. If the father is an honest, upright citizen - he is shot in the first few frames by the villain who has little use for his moralities

Common dialogues
Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain

Agar toonay aisa kiya toh - mujhse burra koi nahin hogaaa

Ek baar iske haath pile kar doon, phir mein chain se mar sakta hoon

Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein

Beti to paraya dhan hai.

Mere jeeteji yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti.

Main jald hi dahez ki sari rakam chuka doonga

Yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib

Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe

Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha ?

Main kahta hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey




MOTHER

Any widow in a Hindi film is a mother. Anyone marrying a character actor in the beginning of the film and bearing two children is sure to be widowed. The sons thereafter are likely to grow up to be the main protagonists. Sewing machine is her favourite timepass tool and she will
always make halwa for her son.

Common dialogues
Mera Raja beta

Mera ashirwad sada tere saath hai.

Tujhe ek maa ki aah lagegi

Mera beta aisa kabhi nahin kar sakta.

Mera beta teri maut bankar aayega, thakur!

Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta...

Mere bete ki raksha karna prabhu

Kya apni maa ki baat nahi maanega?

Mera achha beta, jaldi se dudh peekar bada ho jaa.

Is budhi maa ka tumhare siwa aur kaun hai?

Mere Raja bete ko aaj mein apne haaton se khilaaongi

Hey bhagwan, mere suhaag ki raksha karna

Maine tere liye gajar ka halwa banaya hai

Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya..

Mar, Mar isse betay, isse ne tere Devata jaise pita ka khoon kiya




MOTHER-IN-LAW

The most nasal voice in the cast belongs to the mother-in-law. She has usually got a dead husband, or one who gives 'henpecked' new dimensions. She specialises in kicking the heroine / hero's sister / bhabhi while she is sweeping the floor. She seldom dies, but always gets her come-uppance in the end when her husband, after years of ayurveda and yoga regains his lost vitality, insults her in public and forces her into submission.

Common dialogues
Chudeil! Kide pade tere .....

Tere baap ke bheje huey iss sari ka too kya karegi. Chal, mujhe dey

Ey Chudail, ab kaha se mooh kala karke aayee hain?

Aah Haa Haa, Maharani, waha baithey baithey kya kar rahi hain

Arri Kalmoohi, Kaha mar gayi

Eh Kulta, tere baap ne ab tak dahej ki rakam nahin chukayi


The last session will cover villains, doctors & the law among other things.
Watch this space ! !


Thought for the day:
Sometimes i wish that i had never met you, so i could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. (for someone special !)