Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Bollywood "Formula" Classroom - I


Bollywood movies these days are said to be moving away from the ubiquitous "formula".
What is this FORMULA ... Well, it was present in all movies about 2-3 years back and still is used to make many movies. Only some go away from the "Formula". Guts ! !

Anyways, i am going to write a series of posts regarding the Bollywood Formula, its contents, the dialogues involved in such a movie . . basically, the works. Here's the first session.

If you are aspiring to strike a career in the Bollywood, be it a director, script writer or even penning dialogues, this section will be very helpful to you for it contains the scenes
and dialogues which every film has and you cannot afford to miss it !!

Some of the here may be rather sexist, chauvinistic, supercilious, vapid, racist, tasteless, offensive and emotionally backward, but we have to be slightly sober for censorship reasons and cannot show Hindi films in their full crowning glory

MUST SCENES FOR EVERY FILM

Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain , and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he
has a heroine)

If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes / heroines will die or take off to foreign country at the end of the movie.

If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savegely for at least 5 minutes

Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.

The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot

When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never miss run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die)

Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of pots, barrels, glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.

Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have a song sung by the brothers their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax) the family dog/cat. The amazing thing is that these folks remember the song after 20 years in the movie, and you can't remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the theatre.

There will always be one song in which heroine is scantily dressed and singing in rain.

There will always be one rape scene

End of Session 1.

Post Script: Too bad not all movies these days are made like the ones earlier. I'm all for revival of the Great Formula ! Amen.

In the comin sessions, the following will be discussed:-
Hero
Heroine
Hero's sister
etc.

Keep Reading.

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