...Threshold...

Being the guest writer on Mihir’s blog is a super daunting task. I mean, just looking at his body of work, anyone in his/her right mind would think long…and hard….And so did I…Its been almost a month since Mihir has bestowed this honour upon me…and I…well…
So finally Mihir said “Arre kuch bhi likh yaar”. “Kuch bhi” comes difficult to most mortals. He wouldn’t know, obviously, not belonging to my breed….
So here goes…On the self imposed condition of anonymity (to save more of his honour, than mine) I finally begin with my “kuch bhi”

As this year ebbs itself out and the new one surges upon us, I can’t help but feel pangs of anxiety, anticipation, excitement, fear and many other such abstract nouns. I relent, it is but natural. Maybe most share my feelings. But this year it is a bit different. This year I am experiencing superlative degrees of all the above described abstract nouns and many undescribed ones too…

May be 23 years spells a threshold in a girl’s life. (Anonymity maintained…I could be a girl trapped in a guy’s body)..hahaha…whatever!!!! In today’s day and age…no one would even raise a hair of their eyebrow on that statement. Ya so where was I…Oh yess…at my threshold…
Today, as I grapple with what I want in life, I realize I have to grapple with what life has to offer also. At 23, I don’t see myself at any crossroads. Rather I see many roads stretching out in the same direction. And I realize, crossroads could have been so much better. Its either the right or the left…Here I can see a career road, a marriage road, a further studies road so on and so forth….

Am I ready for some if not all roads??…Ya sure.
Am I looking forward for some if not all roads??....Yes definitely
Am I sure of what I want??...Umm…aa..mm…err…
(“No” can be a frightful answer…so I’ve chosen to make all sorts of sounds in the above answer.)

I searched the word “want” in the Microsoft Word Thesaurus and the search throws up words like “desire”, “wish for”, “fancy”, “would like”, “feel like”, “crave”, ”covet”, “yearn for” and many other relevant ones. All entire in their description of “want” but lacking in what I “want” to say…Hahah..
Coz if one asks me what I desire?..what I fancy?…what I yearn for?…what I would like? I do have some selfish answers to provide. Ya ya…”world peace” is also one of them..

But if you as me what I want from life..what I would absolutely love to do, and if I would take the leap if I got a chance?? I go back to my sounds…

I wish one day I could just shout “Eureka” and run out of the bath tub…ok…no erase that thought...just shout “Eureka” and say “Yea!!! This is what I want to do…this is what I’ve been looking for.”
I wish I could just choose my road and plunge onto it full throttle knowing exactly where I’m headed and knowing exactly where I would reach…

Till then I’m just enjoying my threshold…Looking far ahead at my roads…and just knowing I’ll set out on one sooner…

Good Deed For The Day, Every Day

www.freerice.com

This is the name of the site.

Tagline : "For each word you get right, we donate 10 grains of rice through the United Nations to end world hunger"

What you have to do is guess the meanings of the given words and for each correct guess, 10 grains of rice are donated.

The words are not that tough (atleast till level 40). So, friends, go ahead and donate as much as you can, while improving your vocabulary power. Please do this every day. I do. Lets make this minuscule contribution ourselves each day to bring an end to world hunger.

P.S. Imagine how little 10 grains is. So donate much much more. And, pass the word

Love Thy Neighbour !

I could blog about how I actually dreamt of Mallika Sherawat playing the role of Mother Teresa in her next movie, which is a soul disturbing thing to even dream of. I could blog about how I found ‘Heyy Babyy’ , which could well have had the audience sending asking the director – ‘Heyy Bhagwaan?’.I could blog about how I have been listening to the song ‘In Dino’ from "Metro" so many times in a day which must be making my music payer beg for a bullet by now.

But I did not blog over the last week.

I wish I could have said “You see , managing three highly violent and Mithun “hoye saala” Chakraborty influenced kids is just so difficult and time consuming , it just does not allow me to blog”. But due to lack of appropriate people and opportunity , I have no kids.So I just have to blame Robin for my failure to blog over the last week.

Remember Robin ? The “gareebo ka maseeha” outlaw.His merry band. The Sherwood forest.The sheriff of Nottingham.The ballads.The pretty Queen Elanor.Ok , now do not yell “mujhe sab yaad aa gaya !”.Because I am not talking about Robin Hood .

Instead I am talking about a certain Robin Sharma , who wrote a certain “The monk who sold his Ferrari” , which is about a certain monk selling a certain Ferrari .He also wrote another book “Who will die when you cry?”..err…its “Who will cry when you die ?” I picked up this book and spent the last week reading it and thinking over it.Now , I am not the intellectual and liberated youth who sports a little goatee , wears ‘kurtas’ over faded jeans , has ideas on poverty elimination and capital punishment and can spend light years arguing social topics over coffee with more people of his kind. I hardly read anything which is spiritual or even pseudo spitirual. It was just that the last time I was at Shoppers' Stop waiting for a friend, a 'no-lack' of free time and a lack of headphones, combined to create acute boredom for me , almost a mild form of depression infact.So I walked into a book there , eyed the glossy health magazines with young and slim ladies smiling on their covers , contemplated if "those" were silicon implants , and then bought the “Who will cry when you die” thing , primarily because of its low cost.

So a major part of the last week was spent reading it , doing math practice, watching movies , listening to music and attending classes for a change.Now , this book , in its chapter 17 , suggests the reader to make a little list of people one wish would live next door to him/her.Robin-jee says , that this would help one get clearer about the attributes he / she likes and then be aware of the need to inculcate them within oneself. Now , I found this interesting.To think of people I would want to stay in my neighbourhood.Let me try.



1. Katrina Kaif

My university results are out.I flunk in three subjects.There were three subjects in all.Dad shouts at me.Mom looks away.Slamming doors.I feel suffocated and angry and walk out into the street. And just then , Katrina jogs past in a pink track suit . She slows as she passes me , flashes a smile and cheerfully says “ Hi !”.I if I do manage to say anything , I would just mouth “Katrina jee , I just flunked my exams ,all of them , that too by a huge margin. But trust me , I never felt better than I feel right now.”

2. Jim Carrey

I am out of sugar .Wife is too lazy to move her little finger . I go over to Jim’s door to borrow some sugar. He invites me in and … before you think we go into his bedroom , stop thinking. He gives me the sugar and asks me to stay for a quick coffee .And over coffee , even if he does ten percent of something like his ‘Dumb and Dumber” act , I would be laughing my diaphragm out.I really want to see this guy living around me. He is the funniest guy I have seen.And I would pray we run out of sugar.

3. Mike Tyson

I understand this imposes a considerable threat to my “izzat” and the “izzat” of the colony’s “bahu and betiyan”. But this guy is entirely for security purposes.With a “tyson’s” house in the locality , any thief needs to be suicidal to even think of doing his business in our colony.And I may just get to be friendly with Tyson , with pleasing advantages. Boss shouts at me. Tyson beats boss. “Sabjiwallah” charges me higher for tomatoes.Tyson beats “sabjiwallah”.Wife shouts at me.Well , that’s normal.

P.S. – My original choice for the brawny neigbour was Salman Khan , but with his kind of driving skills and feelings for Katrina , he had to be disqualified.

4.Sri Sri Ravi Shanker.(Is there one more 'sri' ?)

Now this guy is important.Whenever I fail in life , spirituality comes in handy. I make fifty thousand bucks in stocks and I go to posh hotel and land up in a sauna bath and I feel fine.I lose fifty thousand bucks in stocks and I go to guru jee’s house and he says ‘ money is an illusion’ and I feel fine.

The list would run longer than Shilpa Shetty’s legs , if I keep going on.So this is it for now. By the way, who is your dream neighbour ( s ) ?

Woman Empowerment

Woman Empowerment. Two words done to death by repeated usage is all possible contexts by the media.

Empower is defined by the dictionary as “ to give or delegate power or authority to or to give qualities or abilities to”

So let’s discuss what exactly Woman Empowerment is.

Is it Sania Mirza reaching world no. 29 in the WTA rankings?
No, that’s just her hard work & dedication finally paying off.

Is it more women joining the workforce or the corporate world & standing shoulder to shoulder with men ?
No, that’s women just claiming their due. This had to happen sooner or later & I guess you will agree with me on this.

Then, is it SRK’s rag tag bunch of 16 winning the hockey world cup & the movie making money inspite of it being unabashedly feminist ?
Nah, the movie’s just a reflection of society & how it has come to accept females in roles other than home makers.

Then, it must be the Election of Pratibha Patil as the FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT of India. This is the first case of “empowerment” we’ve got among all the examples discussed. But again, wasn’t that just dirty politics, or should I just say politics, the word dirty always implied !!

So now let me discuss a concept which is as far from Woman Empowerment, as it is a reflection of it in some twisted way.

It’s about RAPE.

Hindustan Times – August 21, 2007

A local court has rejected the defence's contention that conviction in a rape case cannot be based on the sole testimony of the victim and sentenced a man to 10 years in jail for raping a minor two years ago.

The judge said, “Conviction can be based on the sole testimony of the prosecutrix (girl) if she is trustworthy”

The defence had, during the trial, challenged Kumar's prosecution, contending that since the girl's testimony was not corroborated by any other evidence and there was no independent witness, he could not be held guilty. The court, however, refused to accept this argument and cited various judgments of the Supreme Court.

So, had the Supreme Court set a precedent for this judgement ? The answer, as it turns out, is a resounding YES.

The Times of India – July 29 2007

A recent Supreme Court judgment convicted a rape accused relying solely on the victim's testimony despite the medical evidence not proving occurrence of intercourse.

The key for the court is that the testimony of the victim should be "cogent, convincing and trustworthy."

Very subjective & idealistic indeed

In the given case, a medical test was carried out on the victim & also her body was examined. No proof of intercourse was established. Also, there were no injury marks found anywhere on her body implying a struggle or forceful intercourse.

But, the court said any departure from this rule of attaching weight to the victim's statement would put women in a more vulnerable position.

It said that no woman would lie about a crime, an act so grave & violating. Idealistic, yes. True, no.

So guys, any “trustworthy” girl whose testimony is “cogent & convincing” can put you in jail – maybe for cheating on her, maybe for no reason at all.

There is definitely a possibility that women will try & harass men by leveling false rape charges on them as they know that the law as well as the sentiments of the judge would be in their favour.

So, don’t get me wrong here, I’m a complete feminist at heart. Let’s all be idealistic here. Let’s assume. . . NO, let’s agree that no woman will ever lie about an act so violative of the woman’s body, mind & spirit. But, you CAN, you always CAN.

Isn’t that Empowerment ?

The Downside of Economic "Growth"

This is the image attached along with the anchor article in the Times of India dated July 25, 2007.

It is titled "This village has a 1000 crorepatis". It is about a village whose main occupation till recently was to grow paddy n sell it. That is, until Delhi property prices rose & real estate developers came along & offered these farmers prices which would mean income of the next 2 generations selling paddy in one shot.

Who would refuse such a deal. i wouldn't. They didn't either. So, the property is sold, crores made, lifestylr upgraded accordingly.

This is evident from the report which says the following:

Two years ago, Radadhana in Sonepat district, about 50 km north-west of Delhi, was a paddy-growing village where bullock carts jostled for space on dusty tracks. The tracks are still dusty, but today Skodas, Hondas, Endeavours and a range of SUVs jostle for parking space. The homes, once made of bricks fired at the local kiln, are now gone. They have been replaced with hurriedly constructed and often garishly painted three-storey mansions fitted with ACs.

Gone are the kurta-pyjamas in which the farmers would loll about in the off-harvest months. Now, they are sharply dressed and strut around in their branded jeans.

Now, this is the 4th or 5th such TOI article i've read in the last 3 months. Land which the farmers use for agriculture is being bought off & used to build BPO centres, malls & offices. Agriculture is discontinued. Yes, this is Economic growth. The Rupee output per unit of that land will rise exponentially. But what about the decrease in food output. The newspaper, surprisingly, fails to bring out this side of the story & publishes the whoel article in "India Shining" mode

India is a predominantly agricultural economy. Industrialisation is welcome, but surely not at the cost of food production.

Our progress & so called Economic Growth does not have a sound foundation & one day it will all come crashing down.

Land which can be used for is is currently being used for agriculture is being developed into building complexes. Water shortage is already a problem and this will aggravate it. Electricity is demanded more than it can be supplied. This will skew the ratio even more. Food has not been a problem till now. It's only a matter of time before it too is.

So, there is acute water shortage, acute Electricity shortage & shortly, acute food shortage. Nice.

Growth ? Economic Development ?

Musically Handicapped

My head bobs lightly to the strings of "O sanam" sung in the chocolate voice of Lucky Ali.This guy's voice is so chocolaty , listening to him for too long can get you cavities in your teeth.But this is a blissful time.Past midnight.A hot cup of coffee. No one planning to beat me up. A Swiss chocolate bar lying on my table. And my name managed to crop up in the passing list of CA Final a couple of days ago .And even though the playlist has started with "who let the dogs out" after kicking out "O Sanam" , life is fine right now.

The media player on my computer must be ready to file an over exploitation petition by now. I study, and it plays. I sleep , and it plays.I am in the bathroom , and it plays.I watch TV, and it plays. If media player had fingers , all ten of them must be pointing towards the cross on the right hand top corner of its face by now.

But to be honest , if lack of knowledge of music is a handicap , I am paralysed with both my arms and both my legs missing. You need to understand my upbringing. No cable connection at home, till 1995. My dad, 9s the type of person who would wonder if K.L.Saigal, which sounds a familiar name , is the name of one of his clients . Mom only listened to “Akashwaani” on radio. And if asked on a bad day , they may even identify Elvis as being the president of Cuba. In short , they are as interested in music , as a fish would be in "how to swim" lessons.In shorter terms , they are not interested in music.

So all I had even remotely related to music was 6 audio cassettes of Jagjeet singh ( Dad's music "collection") , chitrahaar and Rangoli and some other Countdown shows on doordarshan , and a radio -cum-cassette player which , with its perfectly rectangular face and the plastic handle on its top , looked like a little suitcase.Of course , dad used to sing in the Bathroom , that too only on Sundays , but lets not count that.

So i grew up with minimal exposure to music. The early years were fine.Little kids anyways sing only "Jack and Jill" and something like 'Ring-a-Ring-a-Roses" , If I remember right.But by the time I stepped into the teens , Cable TV had entered most Indians home , with our home being a silent exception. And my classmates had begun to watch MTV and such things. Suddenly , humming to the tune of "Sardee Khansee na Malaria hua , Lovaria hua " from "Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman" was no longer "cool". When I was in class 11th , a girl in my class asked me if I listened to Bryan Adams. I told her I listen to my mom only. During the school farewell we gave our seniors, a bunch of boys got terribly excited. They formed a little huddle and shouted "Alice.Alice.Who the f**k is Alice ?"And i looked at the guy standing next to me and said "Do you know her ?".It was learnt later , that these were the lyrics of some "angreji" song.

Later in college, I got a computer. The old radio-cum-cassette player was given a proper burial and the gleaming new HP pavilion was unveiled to me in a dramatic fashion. The two speakers standing on either side of the screen seemed to blaring to me "La la ...of your ignorance this is the end , listen to music my friend..la ra ra".

It sure ushered in a little music revolution in my life. But I was like getting on a bicycle when most others were driving a car .So now when others are flying around in planes , I am driving the car. I am still very much "Desi" in my musical habits. Lucky Ali. Pritam, Silk Route. Junoon. Bollywood songs. No Remixes. Not Anu Malik ( "Do me a favourrrrr, lets plaaay Holeeee" , now that was too much for me too).So I am not really a part of the so called "cool" gang which understand that Pink Floyd is not a shade of pink but a music band. I still have to focus hard to get the lyrics of an english song right.I have made quite a few attempts to like english music. But trying to make out what the guy is saying amidst all the falling utensils leaves me pretty exhausted by the time it ends. So while music is meant to relax me , trying to decipher English music makes me feel like I am writing the CA Final Direct Tax paper in a pair of jeans 4 inches too tight for my waist , and all this while a stove is burning beneath me.

So I keep reverting back to Hindi Music. While the room to my left blares 'Shaggy' and the room to my right drools 'Aerosmith' , it’s a ignorant and confused Hrithik Roshan asking questions about love and then crooning "Na tum jaano na hum" from the movie "Kaho Na Pyar Hai" in my part of the world. And its all right this way. But if someone asks me "Hey , how do you find Black Eyed Peas ? " ( Its another music band ... I think) , you may just hear me saying "Cant say ..never eaten them ..u like them, why are they called black eyed ?".And I am still confused if its Led Zeppelin or Zed Leppelin.

I, Spielberg

Do you see a Steven Speilberg in me ? A Sanjay Leela Bhansali ? Abe dhyaaan se dekh ! Accha I will come a little down , do you see a Mahesh Bhatt in me ? I think you do not. No one does. Not my mom , not my dad , not my dentist , not my professors , not my friends. No one. But when I see in the mirror , I see a couple of oscars sticking out of my ears and six filmfare awards resting on the top of my head. I really think I can be a biggy director some day. And this desire of mine has nothing to do with the casting couch….. Ok, it has a little to do with it.

And I have been working hard to be a director too. I have watched a mega number of hindi movies , belonging to the "churidaars-tight pants-eastmancolor" 1960s , the "bell bottoms-angry young man-smugglers" 1970s , the "disco-trying to be western-more disco" 1980s and the "overacting-shahrukh-chocolate-underworld" 1990s .And dad says , everything teaches you something.

I have been writing down some "this-surely-works" formulae which have been adopted universally across the hindi fillum industry.Now I hate to share some of these "faaarmulaaas" unearthed after "Barson kee mehnat" of watching movies.But then I guess you anyways do not have a steven speilberg in you to make any use of these.

-- >>The hero falls off a balcony , or slips in the bathroom , or is beaten by some goons and has to be hospitalised. The little red bulb over the "operation theatre" sign flips on. The heroine and the hero's parents are waiting outside with the looks of constipated camels. The little red bulb goes off , a tired looking doctor comes out , slips the stethoscope off his ears .Then , according to formula no.49 , the doctor should say " Hum ne unhe to bacha liya.But unkee yaddashht jaa chuki hai ." Common cold may be common in real life , but "yaddasht khona" is the commonest in reel life.

-- >>The extra goons are shot at by the hero , they die instantly as instant coffee. Not a sound. Just a little yell and they drop to the floor. One of the good guys is shot at. Then according to formula no.8 , he falls to the floor. Then someone rushes upto the dying person. He takes the dying person's head in his lap and shouts at the top of his voice "Main tumhe marne naheeeee dunga ! Main tumhe haaaspital le jaungaaa!". The dying guy asks him to shut up and then croons a proper three minute farewell speech where he asks the other dude to take care of his sister , girlfriend and dogs. And then the good guy dies. But take note , he would never die with closed eyes. His eyes would remain open. This allows the other guy to close the dead guy's eyes gently and break down with some heartrending music in the background.

-- >>The heroine's pink "dupatta" is caught in a gust of breeze and blows away smoothly. Now technically , this dupatta may get caught in the electricity cables above or land in a pile of cowdung or land in a public toilet or land on gulshan grover , but rule no.15 says , that it will keep flying poetically till it descends magically and wraps itself around the hero. Some real aviation fundaas at work there.

-- >>The hero has been hospitalised.The doctor has mouthed the customary "Inhe dawa naheee , duaa kee zarurat hai".Now the formula number 62 kicks in. The hero would have a Sardaar buddy , a muslim buddy , a christian buddy and a white saree clad mom. The sardaar would run off to his gurdwara , the muslim to masjid , the christian to church and the mommy to a temple , preferably Mata ka mandir. The mommy will yell something like "Tum mera beta mujhse naheen cheen sakti" and proceed to slam her forehead against the temple's main bell repeatedly. And amongst shots of a praying sardaar , muslim , christian and a ketchup-on-my-forehead mommy ,our sonny hero would sleepily open his eyes and whisper "Ma".I think this formula needs more research.It holds mind blowing potential for medical science.

-- >> The hero meets with an "accident" , and his body goes missing , or maybe you find a body which is charred beyond recognition. But a watch is found on the body which makes his mother identify the body as that of her son and then faint. According to rule no 81 , after a few years , the hero will appear with a beard , right on the day when the heroine is going to be married to another guy. So the heroine should promise to marry a second guy , but she would not have to , because the missing hero is going to appear in tattered clothes , on that very day anyways. So the moral of the story - if the body aint found , or maybe found as burnt as a burnt sandwich , he is not dead.

-- >> The hero is a little kid still. His dad is a school teacher , named something like Master Deenanath. Everything can go on smoothly .The hero can grow up and his dad can be go on to be the school principal. But formula no.25 says otherwise. The very fact that dad is a "Imaandaar" school teacher makes it imperative that the dad would die. He would most probably stand up against some big builders who want to raze down the school and build a five star hotel there. And then the goons come home and murder mr.daddy and mrs.mommy while our little hero hides behind the flower pots and makes a mental note of the killer's faces. He has to ,after all , grow up and avenge his folks’ killings .But that will happen right at the climax.

Well , there are some 838273 more of these in my "filllum faaaarmoola notebook". But I cant type in more. Got to go and sign up Shahrukh for my first movie. And sacchi bata yaar, don’t you see a director in me ? Dhyan se dekh na !

Watching My Life : Further musings on the "Purpose" of Life

Once upon a time , I was 7 years old. Then one day , I turned 8 years old . My folks hung balloons and ribbons all around the house. Uncles with their hanging bellies and aunties with their hanging jewelleries came down in large numbers.They looked at me , ruffled my hair which irritatated me a lot and said the same old "rishtedaari" special pleasantries.( kitna bada ho gaya hai munnu ! chota sa tha jab last dekha tha ..godi mein susu karta tha).As if they did their respective "susu" at the White House when they were kids.

Anyways , these guys kept giggling , ate a lot of food and forced me to perform a modern day "mujra" wherein I was made to sing n dance to "papa kehte hai bada naam karega..." along with my pesky cousins . Though with my front two teeth missing at that time , I may have looked a shade less charming than Aamir Khan .Anyways , it was a very soul disturbing experience for me and I almost sued the guests for child exploitation.

But when these guys left , they left behind some good stuff too along with the dirty utensils : the birthday gifts. And one of the gifts was this boardgame called LIFE.For those of you who are not aware about it , you got a better option than bathing in the sea of ignorance , go to this link - http://boardgamecentral.com/games/life.html.

So what happened in this game was that you were allotted a coloured piece which travelled along a curvy path on the board .The number of slots he moved ahead depended on the roll of a wheel ,like the ones they have in those kathmandu casinos. You moved along the board doing all the life stuff , becoming a doctor , engineer ,gangster etc etc ; marrying , divorcing , raising kids ,taking bank loans , buying houses , you even got this salary via a toy version of the American currency. I recall trying to sneak a few extra notes from the box while my cousin was rolling the wheel.

Lately I have started viewing my actual life as just a bigger version of this game.I am just a piece like that in the game , who's just rolling along the boardgame of life. The difference being that on which slot I land ain’t exactly decided by a rolling wheel, but largely by my choice and effort. And just like the game , one day god will decide he’s had enough fun with this guy , and would pick me off the board n toss in the box .And all the currency notes , bank loans , the houses I won during the game , would remain back on the board , to be played with by the other guys.

And this makes me view my life in a rather dis-engaged way.I don't exactly go gaga with my so called achievements, which anyways can be counted on the fingers of a man with a missing hand. And neither do I plunge to the depths of despair with my failures and problems , which can be counted on more than the fingers of your hands , toes and the rest of your body. Its like nothing in this world seems to affect me too much.Its like I don’t know what I want to achieve , what I want to possess.

I feel like a toddler who has been left to play on the floor of Bombay Stock Exchange of yore.I see people yelling , excited , angry , racing to get somewhere and wonder whats it all about . Sometimes I feel I want to earn a lot of money and spend my life with Angelina Jolie on my left arm and Salma Hayek on the right , and swap their places after every 30 minutes.Then I feel i want to spend my life in my room with the AC on , munching on tomato flavored wafers and watching HBO, AXN and Star Movies,and that too on a 42 inch LCD TV. A little later , I see my life's purpose in setting up some NGO and serving the needy. What do i want out of life ? Is there any purpose at all of this entire life thing or are we just trying to have a good time ? Have all you guys figured out what you want in life ?

Tell me..

Some guy said, "you can't be lost if you don't know where you are going". Now it makes sense.

Where's my PURPOSE, Dude ?

Time : 8:24 am
Day : Sunday
Place : Home
A more precise place : On my bed .
State of mind : Just got up . Any use of words with violent , sexual or abusive connotations is due to great hunger resulting from no dinner, a lack of breakfast and a shoulder pain resulting from the awkward position I slept in .

First of all , I am not sad . I have a decent career taking off – just finished my CA Final exams & hoping to pass (cross my fingers), a family I love , friends I love, and the barking dogs in my housing society that I am beginning to love So it would take a fully loaded nuclear attack and a couple of Himesh Reshammiya's CDs to make me feel sad .
On a related note , I just saw the video of Adnan Sami’s latest song on MTV . The guy is crying lakes in the video . I had this urge to actually reach into the screen , wipe his face with a tissue and say "Na munna na , sab theek ho jayega ."

But even though I am not sad , I have a little thought nibbling on me this morning . The more I live , the more I realise two things . First , I still don't have a 'purpose' in my life . And second , now that I have lived some more , I have lesser time to find that purpose .It is like 5 years back I was "Chill yaar . I am only 18 . Only God Buddha found a purpose in life at that age." But Now I am like "Umm . I am almost 23 . And I think I will find a bigger meaning in life right after a little nap. "

Sure , I have phases of 'being driven' in my life . Like I wake up and say 'Right . Today I will call the Hutch Customer care people and tell them they should be looting banks in masks and not calling themselves a telecom service provider for all the scary things they are doing to my connection'. So, little purposes about getting my cell connection up , analysing the high revenue increase of the company I am auditing, ironing my shirt for the next day and such micro sized things dot my day. But there is nothing which connects all these dots and makes me say, " Oh right . Now all the things that seemed stupid and mundane to me make sense". I don't have a purpose which unites all the things I do and drives me and makes me say "Oh yeah , so this is what it was all about".

In fact , that's the problem bugging me right now . I don't know what's it all about .

I keep thinking for how long will this continue ? Will I ever be able to figure out what I want to do ? Am I supposed to figure it out ? How ?
Does everyone realise their “purpose” & go about achieving it, or do they just live their lives & whatever they do is their “purpose” ? It’s all so confusing. Am I alone in this mess ?

Maybe there isn't supposed to be a purpose , a bigger meaning in life . Just live , have fun , eat good chinese/italian/indian/any food , watch movies , and of course , there are my barking dogs.

Starting a Sunday with such things which would beat a well with their depth is not a great idea . I can almost imagine Lord Buddha sitting up there on a cloud and shaking his head and telling me "Take it easy kid . It's Sunday after all . You know what that means for a working chap ? So gulp some sandwiches and a hot coffee and flip on FTV and everything will make sense ." Amen.

The Emperor Strikes Again

And I’m back. Bring on the shenanigans, orchestra, belly-dancers, and lets start the party !

I was away for 4 months & nothing much has changed in the world. Lets view the major happenings while I was on leave. This will strictly include only the things that interest me, to the blatant exclusion of everything else.. let’s see

Federer wins Australian open without losing a set. He is just stamping his authority over the tennis world. The rest of the players are just fighting for second place.

Guru releases & Amitabh goes over the top in praising Abhishek. He even got congratulatory messages printed in leading entertainment dailies! Most of it read that it is a father’s proudest moment when a son surpasses him.
First, I think Abhishek did not surpass his father by doing Guru.
Second, well, I guess Jaya Bachchan also would have a hand (and more) in Abhishek being such a good actor (!!). As far as I remember, she was considered a better actor than Amitabh when both were at their peak.

Filmfare Awards happen – these being the worst ever in all these years. I have already written a post on it, so wont elaborate. Oh & yes, Ash was nominated in the Best Actress category for Dhoom

The World wakes up to Global Warming. Finally !! How do they suddenly say that only 8 years are left before the glaciers will melt, average temperatures will zoom, water will be in grave shortage? Where were these warnings 20 years back saying that just 25 years are left ! The fact is that nothing can be done now. We can only marginally reduce the impact, BUT DEFINITELY CANNOT stop or reverse Global Warming. Welcome to a dying world.

Australia win the world cup. Without losing a game. Without being stretched or close to being stretched in any game. Without needing their last 5 players to bat in any game. Mcgrath takes 26 wickets, is declared man of the series, retires. Hayden scores 650 odd runs. Gilly makes the highest score in a World Cup Final. Why did they win? I guess – Because they showed up !

Namastey London is the Biggest hit of the year till May. It has been a bad, bad year for movies after a bumper 2006. Bollywood has definitely not Lage Raho-ed in the same fashion. Lets hope the summer brings some relief.

Britney goes Bonkers! She shaves her head and then covers it up with wigs – those too very tacky n cheap looking. She goes out partying wearing stuff with extremely high hemlines & well, does not wear any underwear. Thank god her kids are too young to see mama’s photographs.

Undertaker wins at WrestleMania to make it 15-0. He has been unbeaten at WrestleMania for the last 15 years. Probably a record that will stay unbroken.

My Guest Writer – remains more a guest & less a writer. Worst part is that I paid her in advance, so its money down the drain. On the bright side, she had promised to perform favours for me “physically”. I was looking forward to it until I realized it meant helping me lose weight by making me go jogging every morning!

I guess that’s it … Nothing else was interesting to me or maybe I missed out coz I did not read the papers or see the news much. Aah yes, the AbhiAsh wedding. So much has already been written on it. Adding my two words would be like pouring a packet of Tata salt into the ocean – pointless !


Anyways, talking about what I did in the 4 months. Well, among lots n lots of other things, I studied. For what people call the biggest exam in my life . . . . Till Now.
8 papers in 9 days. Believe me, its Gang-rape.

1st paper – 4 hours of sleep. Only attempted 68 marks. Passing is 40. I need 50 (for reasons too difficult to describe. For people in the know, its for “aggregate”)
2nd paper – 4 hours of sleep. Screwed up. Forgot stuff I am supposed to remember. “Aggregate” wala problem again.
3rd paper – 4 hours of sleep. Plus had a Sunday to study. Still did not finish the portion. Left some chapters. Paper was decent. (Finally!)
4th paper – 3 hours of sleep. Did not even remotely complete the portion. Paper was meaningless. Simple. Regretted not having slept more.
5th paper – 4 hours of sleep. Feel tired. The things that I had left came as a compulsory question. Donation of 20 marks. Remaining 80 marks manageable. I am satisfied.
6th paper – 5 hours of sleep. Paper ok.
7th paper – 2 hours of sleep. Exhausted. Paper fairly ok. Glad its over
8th paper – No sleep. Still left loads in the portion. Don’t remember anything. Scared. Shitting bricks. Ass on fire. Etc. Paper manageable, surprisingly. Hand shaking while writing the paper. Itching to get to the last question.

Exams over . . . . . FINALLY. A free bird. What do I do ?
SLEEP.
(more later)

Objectivity among artists

Erotica as a genre of art has been very popular for many years now. Painters, photographers, sculptors-artists in general, have their muses and work with extremely beautiful people, paint/photograph nudes etc.

What I've always wondered is how easy/difficult is it for the artist to be objective during this process, do they get attracted towards their models or is it the other way around, what do their spouses/partners think of their jobs, are they secure and trust them completely?
In fact I've heard artists have worked with their daughters, cousins, relatives as models. I must admit, that is a little hard to fathom, a man photographing his adult daughter in the nude, but this does happen...

What got me thinking about this was when I met a man, whose hobby is photography, he clicks women in erotic poses (is in no way physically involved with them though) and his wife doesn't have a clue about all this!!!

I don't personally know such people but hope to hear their point of view. This topic is worth debating upon so give your comments. Hopefully I'll be able to follow up this topic and put up a post after speaking to an artist as well as a model...

P.S: I know women who would never consider marrying an obstetrician and gynecologist as their job involves being in close proximity to you know what. But I've not heard many people debate whether doctors are objective about their job ;).


Posted by Sentimental fool

Annual Festivals in Mumbai

Well I went for the MTDC Elephanta festival last week. It has been happening every year since 1989 (I think). This year it was on for two days. On each day there was a classical dance followed by a classical music performance.

I could not remember the last time I sat in that launch near Gateway of India or went to Elelphanta Caves and though I'm not exactly a classical music fan, I thought why not check it out. Also, I wanted to go see the Elephanta Caves and the fest was just an added attraction.

But what ticked many of us visiting the caves was the fact that nowhere was it mentioned that entry into the caves was allowed only up to 5.30 pm. Now the fest was to begin at 7 pm, so many tourists who reached between 5.30-6 pm did not get to see the caves (I was lucky to be among the last ones allowed inside) which are the main attraction to begin with. I did speak to the organizer about this and even requested him that at least during the fest the caves could be lit up and be open to public for a longer duration or they should've clearly specified the timings on the passes. His reply was that the Archaeological Society of India (ASI) was responsible for the upkeep of the caves and that MTDC could not do anything about it. Well the same old bureaucratic problems... In fact an irate foreigner yelled at him and many foreign tourists as well as natives were disappointed by this fact.

Thankfully the performances were good. There was an Odissi dance first followed by a Hindustani classical vocal performance, but it was really long so I had to leave mid way. All in all a good experience.

Btw, now Mumbai has many annual festivals-Mumbai Festival, Kala Ghoda Art Festival, the Kitab Festival, Elephanta Festival among some others. This is a welcome change, hope such events continue as they provide a variety of entertainment apart from the usual movies, night clubs, restaurants etc. But I really wonder if tourists plan their vacations such that they can be in Mumbai for such fests...

P.S: Happy Holi


Posted by Sentimental fool

Stereotypes in advertising

Off late advertisements of an anti wrinkle cream have been all over the place, on television as well as print and the punch line is that “I got my yesterday’s husband back”.

I’ve nothing against any cosmetic product but I am against the manner in which they’re advertised. From fairness creams and acne treatment creams for teenagers/young girls to anti aging products for middle aged women, the advertisements always focus on the bottom line that “use the product and you will get the desired male attention”. This reflects the society we live in as such ads work and after all the advertisement agency wants to make money, not lecture people or break the gender stereotype. But is being beautiful all about attracting male attention? Is getting a man the center of every girl/woman’s existence? I don’t think so.

Maintaining good health, radiant skin etc etc is something one should do for oneself first. Not for any other person or event as then the results invariably will be short lived and such girls more often than not have some self esteem issues.

It’s difficult to bring about a change in the mind set of the majority but it has got to start somewhere. If the mother doesn’t ask her dark skinned daughter to use a fairness cream or raise her with the notion that only fair people are beautiful, chances are she will not succumb to pressures later on in life. Also, more often than it is women who discriminate against other women on the basis of their external appearance and pass nasty remarks. This has got to change. In USA, Dove has started using “ordinary women/girls” in their advertisements and is working towards breaking the “pretty girl stereotype”.

Hopefully, some Indian companies too will start working in that direction…

P.S: Well my holidays ended and I’ve not been able to manage my time well since I’ve gotten back to work. Hence I’ve not put up a post in a long time…

Btw, I saw Eklavya last week but didn’t write a review as, well, it was way below my expectations. The saving grace was Saif Ali Khan and the fact that the movie was barely 2 hours long.

Posted by Sentimental fool

52nd Fair One Filmfare Awards, 2006 - What a FARCE !

I read today’s (08.02.07) Mumbai Mirror and found that the nominations for the Fair One Filmfare Awards are out, and well … I am very saddened by this year’s nominations (Although my opinion on the nominations matters to Fair One & Filmfare as much as Rakhi Sawant’s opinion on the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty matters to Mr.Bush, but anyways.)

Here are my two bits (actually, much more) on this year’s nominations.

Best Movie

Dhoom:2 (what !)
Don (Why ?)
KANK (No Comments)
Lage Raho Munnabhai
Rang De Basanti

Comments:

Is it necessary to nominate all SRK Movies ?
KanK is hardly “best movie material” & Don’s a remake, neither critically nor popularly appreciated.
Dhoom:2 is no script, all action. Nominating it lowers the already rock bottom credibility of the Filmfare awards.

My Top 5

Lage Raho Munnabhai
RDB
Krrish / Zinda
Omkara
Dor / Khosla ka Ghosla

My Choice: Rang De Basanti, hands down.

Who the Jury will award: Lage Raho Munnabhai.

Best Director:

Karan Johar – KanK
Rakesh Roshan – Krrish
Rakeyh Omprakash Mehra – RDB
Rajkumar Hirani – Lage Raho..
Sanjay Gadhvi – Dhoom:2
Vishal Bhardwaj – Omkara

Comments:

Krrish & Dhoom:2 should not be nominated because in a film with high quotient of SFX, a director’s job is minimal.

Kank does not deserve a Best Director Nomination at all. What direction was involved in it ?

Other Options

Nagesh Kukunoor – Dor

Sanjay Gupta – Zinda would’ve been a good choice. Maybe the deterrent would be that Zinda is not original. It’s an exact copy of Oldboy (Turkey)

My Choice: Rakeyh Omprakash Mehra

Who the Jury will award: Rakeyh Omprakash Mehra

Best Actor in Leading Role (Male)

Aamir Khan (RDB)
Hrithik Roshan (Dhoom:2)
Hrithik Roshan (Krrish)
Sanjay Dutt (Lage Raho..)
SRK (Don)
SRK (KanK)

Comments:

Does SRK have to be nominated for all th mocies he does. Last year (or maybe the year before that) too, he was nominated for all the 3 movies he had done during the year – Paheli, Main Hoon Na, Swades.

His performances hardly deserve a nomination. Even his die hard fans loved his acting in Kank. C’mon !!

Hrithik in Dhoom just had to look good, no acting involved.

Lage Raho.. was an out & out Arshad Warsi movie. Dutt had hardly anything to do.

Aamir acted well, but RDB had everyone in almost equal length roles, so he can’t be said to be the LEADING Actor.

Options

Maybe Rahul Bose for Pyaar ke Side Effects.
Sanjay Dutt – Zinda

My Choice: None. If I had to, I would pick Aamir or Hrithik
Who the Jury will award: SRK - Don or Sanjay Dutt – Lage Raho..(equal chances)

Best Actor in a Leading Role (Female):
Aishwarya Rai – Dhoom: 2 ( Officially, the worst nomination in History !!)
Bipasha Basu – Corporate
Kajol – Fanaa
Kareena Kapoor --Omkara
Rani Mukerji – KanK

Comments:

Ash !!!. The lesser said about her acting, the better. The bar has never been lower. She was plastic in the movie. Bad dialogue delivery, bad acting, no expressions. Very Irritating. And, the kiss wasn’t great!

Kareena had nothing to do in Omkara. An article by Mr. S.K. Jha in Bombay Times said that Kareena’s silences spoke in Omkara & her eyes conveyed a range of emotions.
ALlL Bull ! Does not work for me !

BIG “MISS” OUT:

Ayesha Takia for Dor. My winner, all the way. The lady was simply superb in the movie. She acted better than the 5 nomintaed above.

Mallika Sherawat could’ve been nominated for Pyaar ke Side Effects. She was quite good. Atleast better than a Rani in KanK.

(All actresses in all movies were better than Ash in Dhoom)

My choice: Kajol
Who the Jury Will Award: Bipasha or Kajol (Bipasha has a higher chance)

Best Actor in Supporting Role (Male):

Amitabh, Abhishek – KanK
John Abraham – Baabul (!!!!)
Kunal Kapoor, Siddharth – RDB

Comments:

Why John ?

My Choice: Amitabh Bachchan, Siddharth

AB, because I have a soft corner for him. He was fantastic in KanK. Only he could carry it off at the age of 64. And his dialogue – “Dude, any message for mom?” I’ll never forget it.

Who the Jury will Award: Abhishek Bachchan or Siddharth (Abhi has a higher chance, sadly. Siddharth deserves it)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Female):

Kirron Kher – RDB (WHY ? She had about 5-6 scenes. Hardly noteworthy!)
Konkona Sen Sharma – Omkara
Preity Zinta – KanK
Rekha – Krrish (Unnecessary)
Soha Ali Khan – RDB

Miss Out:

Gul Panag - Dor

My Choice: Konkona Sen Sharma
Who the Jury will award: Preity Zinta. Konkona might just spring a surprise here. She sure deserves to win.

Best Actor in Comic Role:

I won’t mention all the nominees here.

Shreyas Talpade should’ve been nominated for Dor.
Anupam Kher/ Boman Irani could’ve beeb nominated for Khosla ka Ghosla.
Ranvir Sheorey deserved a nomination for Pyaar ke Side Effects.

My Choice & Jury’s Choice: Arshad Warsi – Lage Raho Munnabhai.

He was the lead actor, almost. He carried the full movie on his shoulders. Dutt just had the Title Role.

Best Actor in Negative Role:

I am very happy that John Abraham was nominated for Zinda.

My Choice & Jury’s Choice: Saif Ali Khan – Omkara

Best Music will go to A.R. Rahman for Rang De Basanti

Best Lyrics will go to Prasoon Joshi for “Rubaroo” (RDB). Though he might win it for “Chand Sifarish” (Fanaa)

Best Playback (Male) – Atif Aslam (Tere bin… Bas Ek Pal) or Zubin (Ya Ali)

Best Playback (Female) – Sunidhi Chauhan (Beedi Jalaile… Omkara)

Well, that was that.

So, we notice that:

1. Due respect was given to Karan Johar & the cast of KanK for giving us one of the most over hyped & under-delivering movies of the year. The movie, the director & the FULL cast has been given a nomination. (except Kirron Kher, but wait… she has one for Rang De Basanti for a role as long as Akshaye Khanna’s hair!)
2. The Chopra’s were kept happy by nominated Dhoom:2 for best movie & best director
3. SRK was nominated for both his movies in a year which even his fans will agree was not good for him as far as acting is concerned. Yes, both his movies made crores of rupees, but he hasn’t acted well in them.

These awards are not a forum of recognizing, appreciating & boosting talent. They are just a big get together where the egoes of the STARS are massaged & given a boost.

Small, but great movies like Khosla ka Ghosla, Dor, Gangster, Pyaar Ke Side Effects, Zinda have been given the cold shoulder.

Compare it with other countries’ award ceremonies like the SAG awards, The Golden Globes, The BAFTA & the Oscars. These awards matter to the Film Making community as they recognize talent, and not star power.

These year's nominations have been the most disappointing in the last few years.

Anyways, lets see how many of my predictions are on the spot.

Going back to the Sabbatical.....

Fleeced by a rickshaw driver

A few days ago I was getting back home in a rickshaw (I live in the suburbs in Bombay), well when I reached my building and was paying the driver, I realised I didn’t have enough change. The fare was Rs 35 and I gave him a Rs 50 note. He started with the usual please give Rs 5 change which I didn’t have. So I asked him to hang on for a bit and went to ask my building watchman. I had barely turned my back and he drove off. Well it was my mistake that I didn’t take the Rs 50 note back from him before taking off on the change hunting spree which was barely 10 feet away!

This is the second time this has happened to me. I obviously feel fleeced but at times wonder if it was my mistake as well. Maybe I should’ve known better and carried change with me or taken the money back before asking someone else for change. As it is there are exposes in newspapers which show that rickshaw drivers tamper with meters and I can vouch for a fact from personal experience that some drivers purposely slow down while approaching a signal so they can wait for a little longer to increase the tariff.

I guess there are a few pro-active citizens who note down the license number of the offender and complain to the RTO, but majority just let it go. I must add that I belong to the “I will crib about it and let go” section.

Thankfully the Mumbai rickshaws are better than those in Delhi where they often don’t follow a meter but the journey fare is decided/negotiated before the start of the journey. Then again, all public rickshaw/taxi drivers are not evil but one can’t help getting angry when they resort to such tactics…

Posted by Sentimental Fool

Rural India 2007

I’ve lived my entire life in Bombay/Mumbai and I’m quite “spoilt” with the comforts of urban living. For the record, I’ve lived in a village a few times (maximum time spent being 5 days) and also gone camping and roughed it out a couple of times in the 22 odd years of my existence, so I’m not exactly daddy’s little princess. But after my recent visit to my mother’s native place I’m appalled by the difficulties people have to put up with in rural India.

My mother’s family of origin has their ancestral home in a village in north Gujarat which is about 130 km away from Ahmedabad. This village has a population of about 2000 (1200 registered voters is what one my relatives told me), only has a primary school, a panchayat house, a temple and I’m not sure about how the postal system there works. There is no primary health care centre, no high school or college, no retail shop. Well there is electricity all day (power cuts are frequent though) but currently the water comes only for 30-60 minutes every alternate day that too at 5 am in the morning!!! This is when the predominant occupation of the people there is agriculture, I wonder where is the water for irrigation. One can move around the residential part of the village (excluding the farmlands) only by foot, maybe a two wheeler can go on a few of the lanes. The plumbing and drainage system there is just about functional. Most of the houses are only about 150-200 square feet in size. The silver lining (at least for me) is that I did see set top boxes and dish antennae so at least they have television and radio for entertainment.

Now I’ve nothing against the simple life but I believe that water, electricity, sanitation and health care is the minimum that the government should provide. After all we’re a socialist sovereign. What happened to the promises of “bijli, pani, sadak”? In fact, last year during the heavy rains in Gujarat, many of the natives of the village suffered from Chikungunya and they had to travel to the nearest town to seek medical help due to absence of a health care centre.

People tend to romanticize the simple rural life and say that city bred people are spoilt or haven’t seen the “real deal”. My maternal grandparents love that place and spend about a month there every year. So they tend to paint a very rosy picture, after all they were born and brought up there. My grand father did try and explain that I just have a mental block and that there are no major difficulties in living there and my grand mother who knows very little English was trying to convince me that my trip there is like a picnic. But I just get very bored there and the moment I leave from home to start my journey, I’m just counting hours/days waiting for it all to end.

Also, the fact that we don’t have basic amenities in many parts of India is nothing to be proud of (Yes I know, even a mega city like Bombay has its share of water problems). I guess I’m thinking more about this today as its municipality election day in Bombay.

On a lighter note, I’ve visited this village 5 times till now and I do have some nice memories as well. I remember when I was about 6-7 years old and went there, everyone was shocked to see a girl wearing shorts (it was summer) and my mother did have to answer some uncomfortable questions. I’m assuming with the advent of satellite television, people may not be so shocked today and there were no stares this time around when I was the only adult female wearing jeans there. But my mother did have to answer questions about my prospective marriage which thankfully is not even under consideration at home. In fact one of my second cousins (my age) with whom I played with when I went there as a child is now married with a 3 year old baby. Some things never change.

P.S.: Since Water, a movie about the plight of widows, has been nominated for an Oscar award, I must add that even in 2007 my maternal grand mother considers a widow to be unlucky. On our way out of the house, a widow crossed our path, so she went back inside and started out again. This is sad but true and there was no way I could convince her that her behaviour was discriminatory.

Posted by Sentimental Fool.

About the guest writer

Mihir has already put up a post saying that he's on a sabbatical from blogging and that he'll have a proxy filling in for him. So I thought I'd tell the readers a little about me.
First of all, he did not go on all fours and plead, it was more like "you better fill in for me or else..."
Also, I'm not an eminent writer.
As for the pseudonym (Sentimental Fool), its to help protect his reputation as I'm sure his cool qoutient would dip if his esteemed readers knew he associated with me.

Anyway, my interests include art, photography, music, movies but my day job is unfortunately the complete opposite of my interests.
Will try and post regularly and please give your comments, suggestions, criticism; will use all the feedback to improve my future posts.

Posted by Sentimental Fool

Salaam-e-Ishq: This love is a really long problem

Well, I saw Salaam-e-Ishq last night and here’s my take on it. Yes, this is one more to the list of many reviews out there but since I’m a guest writer on Mihir’s blog, I thought I’d start with a topic he loves: movies.

The positive: Production is good, everybody is well dressed and looks great and the sets too are well designed. I guess after having worked with Karan Johar, the extravagance would definitely show. But instead of Manish Malhotra, we have Vikram Phadnis doing the honours in this movie.

Though everyone has little acting to do (well they all are busy dancing in the looong songs), each one of them has played their part quite well. Casting is good and Govinda is thankfully back to acting instead of governing. Really liked Ayesha Takia and Akshaye Khanna.

The negative: Did the movie have an editor??? The movie is about 3 hours, 45 minutes long. Each song is too long; even if they’re good and help take the story forward (I’m not 100 % convinced about that though), they were more like bathroom/answer my cell phone breaks for many members of the audience.

The Sohail Khan-Isha Koppikar story serves no purpose and doesn’t even fit into the otherwise urban set up of the movie.

The background plot connecting the 6 stories together is not impressive. The individual stories may be good but when they come together, one does not get a great story where everything falls into place. After seeing movies like Love actually, Crash, Babel in which different stories are connected in a fantastic manner, I was not at all impressed.

Final Verdict: The movie is just too long and not justifiably. Towards the end, I just wanted the movie to get over, didn’t care if the story resolves well. It is not a must see unless you’re a die hard fan of the ensemble cast.

P.S: This movie has definitely taken placement advertising as far as possible and must’ve made a lot of money from Ira and TIMES NOW.

P.P.S: As racism is the current flavour (thanks to Celebrity Big Brother UK), I must add that the fact that all Raju taxiwalla wants is to fall in love with a white woman shows how many so called "browns" think that the "whites" are higher/better. I was not happy with this aspect of the story...

Posted by Sentimental Fool. Do give your suggestions, criticism, comments.

I'LL BE BACK !!!!

Hey, I’ve got some good news & some bad news.

The good news is that all you readers (if any) will be tortured no more by my rubbish posts. I am going on a sabbatical – 4 months long. Lucky you!!

But, my blog was so critically appreciated that I’ve got an eminent writer to write for me in my absence. ( This is just a good way of saying that I had to go down on all fours, beg n plead her to write for me)

Anyways, she’ll be writing under an acquired name, pseudonym, if you will & no one will know her true identity. ( She said it’ll negatively affect her reputation if known to be associated with this blog)

So, readers – keep coming back - because this person writes well & will write more frequently than I ever managed to. Adios.

Now the bad news. I’ll be back !!!

Schumi's last, a first for the girls.

There’s a reason why girls, historically & traditionally, are not known to be sports lovers.

A girl, or to be more precise in the given context, an Indian girl watching F1, golf, tennis is as misplaced as a mickey mouse tattoo on a 27 inch bicep !

Cricket (in India) & football are the only 2 sports that have broken the Female viewership barrier. (Football, mainly because of its drool value!!)

Ok, here goes.

The setting: Diwali night, 00:00 hours ISD, 4 girls, 5 guys, 1 room, 1 television set & Schumi’s last race – ever.

The race status: 15 laps to go. Alonso’s out in front, Schumi’s 7 th. Result’s a foregone conclusion. We are in it for the emotional value.

The conversation:

Guy 1 (Me): C’mon Schumi !!
Girl 1: Hey, Schumi means Schumacher, na ?
Guy 2: You got it !!
Girl 3: Which one is Schumi ?
Guy 1: Wait . . . . That one in red just turning round the bend … see ?
Girl 1: How many people are racing ?
Guy 1: 20 – 10 teams of 2 each.
Girl 1: wow !! you know so much . . .

Thankfully, she stays mum for the next half an hour, maybe sensing my irritation.

Girl 2: Hey, how do you know the number of laps remaining?
Guy 4: Einstein, it’s written on the screen at the bottom !
Girl 2: If it wasn’t written, then how would you know? All laps look the same. How can you say for sure that they are not showing the same lap over & over again ?!!

@#**^%%!!## Now why would anyone do such a thing? Why don’t they think before asking such questions. . . .

Schumi overtaking Nick Heidfeld stopped me from giving her some of my juiciest profane words.

All Guys: Yeah Schumi !!

Girl 3: He’s so mean. He pushed that other guy on the grass. Rude !!

Now, all of us guys started ignoring the comments & questions.

Girl 4: (suddenly) Hey, I want to see their faces.
Guy 1: hmm, ok. Let me call Bernie. He’ll do the necessary.
Girl 4: Who’s he ?
Guy 1 & 2: Never mind !!

The last few laps had the guys cheering & the girls . . well, on to another topic.

Schumi finished 5 th. Alonso & Renault won.

Girl 3: hey, who’s he standing on the podium?
Guy 1: he’s Kimi Raikonnen. He’s moving to Ferrari next season.
Girl 3: He’s so….. cute !!! When’s the next race?